woke up today with puffy eyes..
but I don't feel pain.. no one mentioned this yet.. so far so good..
I think I must be dreaming..
HE's not going to leave me.. like of course not! he loves me right?
but that doesn't explain why my eyes were puffy..
if puffy means I cried.. why did I cry if it's a dream?
OMG! it cant be real!
he loves me.. I know he does! he loves her too! pick a side!!! he has to pick me! I have been with him for more than 15 years and that bitch just came in to the picture! he must know she's there to grab his money! please wake up! she's a devil! she's up to no good! listen to me! hear me!
I'm the one, I mean WE are the one u SHOULD be going to! not her!
I cant breathe! I don't want to think about this! but it just keep bugging me! why me?!
if this is the punishment for the killing the mice I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! it was a Biology project! OH Lord, u should understand! don't punish me! I cant handle this! WE cant handle this! it was just 6 months ago my another grand father left.. I'm sad enough.. please don't this away from me as well!!
why?! why do you have to leave me! there must be a reason!
if your reason is LOVE I will kill u not only her! that is not love! that is pure blindness! she has horns! I can see that! why cant u?!
I feel tired! I feel the weight on my shoulders now..
I cant even sit upright! I want to cry my heart out! but where?? I cant let my younger siblings see! I want to yell and shout! but WHERE?!
I have never been this sad and upset and disappointed and annoyed and pissed off and clueless in my life!
maybe I shouldn't have dig this out from my mum.. maybe it was better if I didn't know this at all!
but it would be worst if I found out when something has happened?
*sigh* what should I do? HE's letting go the family stick! he doesn't want me anymore..
nobody wants me..
I feel so.. so disowned!
lifeless,
Hannah
