About Me

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Hello. The name is Hannah (or Banana). There really isn't much, really, as to what I can say about myself. Everything about me is here in my blog. From when I first hit puberty to when I am still trying to figure out how to go about mini-challenges to every day living! Love, Hannah PS: happy reading!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

I’m trying

Hello dear friends!

Do you know that I turn on my blog ever so often just to listen to the songs and study (yea, right) or even just to have time to chill. What do you think about the songs? I’m not sick of them yet, so maybe I won’t change them any time soon. When I get sick of songs, I can actually sing the songs and hum the tunes anywhere I go and then I will get annoyed for doing so. But if they are really not as nice as you have expected them to be, let me know :)

Well, today marks the third day after my dad left us to go back to Malaysia. Honestly, I was a bit worried when I found out my dad was coming 2 weeks ago because I didn’t want to cook or even clean up after him. However, my dad came and he totally did what we did not expect him to do. He cleaned up after us and didn’t even complain. Like, THE BEST HOUSE MATE EVER. *I miss you*

I miss how care free you were and not complaining when we all had our schedules going on. I miss how when I wake up and walk out of the corridor, I would find you seated on the old arm chair watching the news or chatting with friends on your phone. I miss your bah ku teh, even though you had to cook it after your golf session with Ben and you were all tired and sweaty, thanks! I miss how you would wait for all of us to sleep then head to bed. There’s too many things that I miss about you that is still lingering around the house. I miss you.

How long more do I have to keep feeling homesick? How long more do I see you (and mummy) only once, twice a year? How long more do I have to keep hallucinating that you were around just to kiss me on my fore head and tuck me to bed? How long more?

Don’t have to worry, I am not complaining. I am merely having a reality check on my situation and getting back on track to adapting. I am grateful that at least I can still call you two whenever I want to and tell you about my day. I am grateful for the beautiful memories that you have created for me.

It just takes me a while to adapt back to reality. I’m trying…

Thank You for bringing my dad back home safely.

Have a blessed winter everyone! Wrap up & stay healthy.

Love,

Hannah L.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Why did Jesus die?

Warning: I am not qualified to preach and I don't intend to preach. The title is as it is just because this is the question of the week for me..

Now, *ahem* on to formalities (righhhttttt~)

HELLO HELLO

To begin with, I need to kind of explain myself. I am currently in my University's lounge, chilling, because I have a 3 hours break between classes. - NO, I cannot (I repeat, CANNOT) change my schedule because it is auto-allocated! - This is why you can read a post from me! So, you should be happy; in the same way, I am glad to be here also.

At the beginning of this semester, I was keen to take a break from this ministry that I have been serving in for at least the past 3 semesters already. It is not that I am unhappy with this ministry, sometimes a break is necassary so that one doesn't feel too burnt out or lose their direction along the way. This ministry is called the Alpha Course. If you have not heard of this course ever in your life, you can check it out from this link :

http://www.alphausa.org/Groups/1000049014/Explore_Alpha_For.aspx

It is a course that helps people ponder of the questions that relates to Christianity and God. What is my role in this ministry? I used to be a backup singer, and then I was given the role of Worship Coordinator a long time ago (I need to redefine 'long' in my dictionary) and after that: Worship Leader. It may seem as though it isn't a big role, but if you look at it from my point of view, I try not to be sloppy and I want to give my best in serving God in this ministry. AND if you have not worship lead before, let me tell you that choosing the appropriate songs is a difficult task. Songs are important to help engage with the congregation to a time of praise and worship. This way their hearts and minds are open to receive His word. No, it is not meant to be hypnotising them. In a way, worship is the appetiser to a meal. If the appetiser is no good, one may lose interest or appetite throughout the whole meal. Anyway, to fast track, I could not take this break. The reasons being: I love this course and that there isn't sufficient helpers to take over my role.

Last week was just Introduction : Who is Jesus. I think most of you would know the answer to that question. Feel free to comment below and tell me who Jesus is to you. :)

This coming week the topic will be on 'Why did Jesus die?'. It is a very interesting topic, at least for me it serves as a reminder. And many a times, peoples' answers and responses to this question can be very interesting and at the same time inspiring. Some people may have different opinions of why He died and why did He have to be crucified. I believe that it isn't a topic that you can easily avoid and say 'I don't care' to. You either believe or you don't. You can only either believe that He is a sinner (like every one else) and that He deserved such a death or that You believe that He has fulfilled Isaiah's prophecy of bringing us intercession. [Read Isaiah 53] Do rebuke me if you feel the need to.

Anyway, I will also be serving as a back up singer on the actual Sunday service this week. Coincidently(?) the sermon for this week is related to Jesus' death. Last night, we had the worship practise with the band and the songs that the worship leader picked were super powerful. I guess any song that relates to Jesus' death would be powerful because His death isn't just any ordinary death. I am actually having the songs play repeatedly on my playlist at the moment just so I am in the mode of understanding and acknowledging His saving grace. If I was to be at home, my eyes would be all watery and my shirt would be soaked from my snot and all goodness that comes from it. Thank goodness I am able to supress the emotions that is running high in my body from the powerful songs and from typing this post.

Want to know what I am listening to? Here are the songs :)

Just realised that this is a long post. *eeks* sorreh~

Whilst I was selecting the songs for the next Alpha session, I just reflected on the many bible verses that talks about His death. To me, it is so amazing to know that I am saved despite my flaws and sins. And that I am saved even before I do anything or praise His name or serve Him. Isn't it crazy? To lay down your life for a fellow friend shows that you are a good friend or even a good person. But laying down your life for millions and millions of people that hate you and throw curses at you, it is just mind-blowing. Therefore, again, I am eternally grateful. I just cannot wait for that day when I return home. Don't ask me what I would ask Him when I first see Him. The first thing I would do if I see Him is to run into His warm and comforting arms with tears of joy.

Jesus isn't fully inhuman, you know? He feels the pain of being rejected and feels the pain of losing a loved one. Prior to His death, as He prayed in the garden, He asked if God can take away 'this cup' (dying on the cross aka saving the world) from Him because He knew how painful and flesh-ripping it would be. Jesus isn't some God that doesn't understand how you feel when you are underappreciated or when you have lost a loved one. He understands every single pain that you will ever have to go through in this life. Sometimes I wish to be married to Jesus. Not joking. I think in a way He would say yes because He is so loving and gracious, but I feel so inadequate to be called His wife or even girlfriend. Just because I suck...

In conclusion... *yes, I am keeping it short and sweet* Jesus died not for Himself, well, in a way yes, He died to bring glory to Himself and His Father (God), however, don't forget that He also died just so we won't have to bear the consequences of sin = death. Again, I am not saying we won't die physically (everyone WOULD and WILL go through physical death). I am just saying that eternally we will be alive and whole in Him. If you are leaving my blog all confused and just... bombareded with a whole jimble-jumble of unsolved thoughts, I do encourage you to read the Bible or talk to someone. Or check out the Alpha website, I am sure there will be people there that are helpful. OR knock on the door of a church near you and have a pastor or elder pray for you. I am not of a heap of help but I can try :) my inadequacies are just immeasurable.

My conclusion would be that I know He died for me, for you and for everybody.

As usual..

Love,

Hannah L.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

It affects everyone - death.

Hello Helloo!

A little update from me: my dad is here in Melbourne! (yay) I wish my mum came along as well but I guess she has to take care of our house back home. Do help me pray for her safety, bless you (thank you!!)! It is so refreshing to have a parent come over to offer comfort, words of wisdom, and ultimately just being a part of my life. Not saying that he (or they) isn’t a part of my life just because we are miles away from each other most of the time, but it is just super different when he is here physically. The house seems more lively and more warmer, in a way, very much livable. So praise God that he had a safe flight while coming over!

Anyway, on Sunday (which was yesterday), I had a short conversation with an old uncle that just finished leading his cell group. He told me that a cell member of his passed away that very morning and it is now really common to him especially with the circle of friends he has (which are all around his age). The topic that they were discussing about at cell was something along the lines of ‘how do you comfort a relative or friend’ of a deceased? And he told me that a ‘young’ girl such as myself won’t find it an interesting or common topic to talk about. HOWEVER!!! It was.. Sadly. It is not that I find such a morbid topic interesting, moreover, I find that it is crucial that we equip ourselves better on how to handle such a situation. Looking at how life is so unpredictable and fragile even amongst us young people or healthy people, we really just can’t say for sure what will happen next. I did not get the chance to ask him for his advice on how to deal with such a situation because I had to rush off for a recording. Ah..

What happened next was so shocking. I heard from my mum that my best friend’s father passed away. At that point in time, I wasn’t really sure of what to say or how I should go about to comfort her. As a best friend, I felt so inadequate and so useless. The normal “my deepest condolences” just wasn’t enough, at least that is what I think. If something like that happened to my family, what would I expect from my friends? What should I expect? I think, I would just cry. No matter what people say.

“I’m so sorry for being so helpless.”

For me, my love language is physical affection and touch. So, a hug would do a great world of a difference in making me feel better. To comfort someone, you have got to relate to their love language. I haven’t gotten to know my best friend enough to know how she understands love. This is why I feel so terrible.. All I can do is send silent prayers up to our heavenly Father with a hope that He grants her and her family comfort and peace in their hearts. That through this grief they maybe able to draw closer to one another and trust each other with their emotions.

“I really wish I was there just to lend you my shoulders, my arms, my ears..”

Death comes to everyone. Unavoidable and Unforeseeable. We can look at it morbidly and cry about it; or we can live life to the fullest and making sure that we spend our time wisely with those that we love, doing things that we love. But at the same time, being grateful for this life that was given to us. And when you are grateful, you would want to repay back to the one that you have owed. In this case, we can never repay no matter how many good things we do in life, it is simply never enough. However, He doesn’t require much. :) Therefore, I am eternally grateful, living a life that is pleasing to Him.

A: “Rabbi, when do we repent?”

Rabbi: “When we are dying..”

A, confused: “But how do we know when we are dying?”

Rabbi: “Because we can never know when our last breath will be, therefore always repent as if it is our last breath.”

Love,
Hannah L.

Jesus said …, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;  and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

John 11:25-26

Yes.

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