Warning: I am not qualified to preach and I don't intend to preach. The title is as it is just because this is the question of the week for me..
Now, *ahem* on to formalities (righhhttttt~)
HELLO HELLO
To begin with, I need to kind of explain myself. I am currently in my University's lounge, chilling, because I have a 3 hours break between classes. - NO, I cannot (I repeat, CANNOT) change my schedule because it is auto-allocated! - This is why you can read a post from me! So, you should be happy; in the same way, I am glad to be here also.
At the beginning of this semester, I was keen to take a break from this ministry that I have been serving in for at least the past 3 semesters already. It is not that I am unhappy with this ministry, sometimes a break is necassary so that one doesn't feel too burnt out or lose their direction along the way. This ministry is called the Alpha Course. If you have not heard of this course ever in your life, you can check it out from this link :
http://www.alphausa.org/Groups/1000049014/Explore_Alpha_For.aspx
It is a course that helps people ponder of the questions that relates to Christianity and God. What is my role in this ministry? I used to be a backup singer, and then I was given the role of Worship Coordinator a long time ago (I need to redefine 'long' in my dictionary) and after that: Worship Leader. It may seem as though it isn't a big role, but if you look at it from my point of view, I try not to be sloppy and I want to give my best in serving God in this ministry. AND if you have not worship lead before, let me tell you that choosing the appropriate songs is a difficult task. Songs are important to help engage with the congregation to a time of praise and worship. This way their hearts and minds are open to receive His word. No, it is not meant to be hypnotising them. In a way, worship is the appetiser to a meal. If the appetiser is no good, one may lose interest or appetite throughout the whole meal. Anyway, to fast track, I could not take this break. The reasons being: I love this course and that there isn't sufficient helpers to take over my role.
Last week was just Introduction : Who is Jesus. I think most of you would know the answer to that question. Feel free to comment below and tell me who Jesus is to you. :)
This coming week the topic will be on 'Why did Jesus die?'. It is a very interesting topic, at least for me it serves as a reminder. And many a times, peoples' answers and responses to this question can be very interesting and at the same time inspiring. Some people may have different opinions of why He died and why did He have to be crucified. I believe that it isn't a topic that you can easily avoid and say 'I don't care' to. You either believe or you don't. You can only either believe that He is a sinner (like every one else) and that He deserved such a death or that You believe that He has fulfilled Isaiah's prophecy of bringing us intercession. [Read Isaiah 53] Do rebuke me if you feel the need to.
Anyway, I will also be serving as a back up singer on the actual Sunday service this week. Coincidently(?) the sermon for this week is related to Jesus' death. Last night, we had the worship practise with the band and the songs that the worship leader picked were super powerful. I guess any song that relates to Jesus' death would be powerful because His death isn't just any ordinary death. I am actually having the songs play repeatedly on my playlist at the moment just so I am in the mode of understanding and acknowledging His saving grace. If I was to be at home, my eyes would be all watery and my shirt would be soaked from my snot and all goodness that comes from it. Thank goodness I am able to supress the emotions that is running high in my body from the powerful songs and from typing this post.
Want to know what I am listening to? Here are the songs :)
- Relentless - Hillsong United [acoustic version]
- Forever Reign - Hillsong
- Saviour King - Mia Fieldes ft Ben Fielding
- Jesus, Son of God - Chris Tomlin ft Christy Nockles
- In Christ Alone - Owl City
Just realised that this is a long post. *eeks* sorreh~
Whilst I was selecting the songs for the next Alpha session, I just reflected on the many bible verses that talks about His death. To me, it is so amazing to know that I am saved despite my flaws and sins. And that I am saved even before I do anything or praise His name or serve Him. Isn't it crazy? To lay down your life for a fellow friend shows that you are a good friend or even a good person. But laying down your life for millions and millions of people that hate you and throw curses at you, it is just mind-blowing. Therefore, again, I am eternally grateful. I just cannot wait for that day when I return home. Don't ask me what I would ask Him when I first see Him. The first thing I would do if I see Him is to run into His warm and comforting arms with tears of joy.
Jesus isn't fully inhuman, you know? He feels the pain of being rejected and feels the pain of losing a loved one. Prior to His death, as He prayed in the garden, He asked if God can take away 'this cup' (dying on the cross aka saving the world) from Him because He knew how painful and flesh-ripping it would be. Jesus isn't some God that doesn't understand how you feel when you are underappreciated or when you have lost a loved one. He understands every single pain that you will ever have to go through in this life. Sometimes I wish to be married to Jesus. Not joking. I think in a way He would say yes because He is so loving and gracious, but I feel so inadequate to be called His wife or even girlfriend. Just because I suck...
In conclusion... *yes, I am keeping it short and sweet* Jesus died not for Himself, well, in a way yes, He died to bring glory to Himself and His Father (God), however, don't forget that He also died just so we won't have to bear the consequences of sin = death. Again, I am not saying we won't die physically (everyone WOULD and WILL go through physical death). I am just saying that eternally we will be alive and whole in Him. If you are leaving my blog all confused and just... bombareded with a whole jimble-jumble of unsolved thoughts, I do encourage you to read the Bible or talk to someone. Or check out the Alpha website, I am sure there will be people there that are helpful. OR knock on the door of a church near you and have a pastor or elder pray for you. I am not of a heap of help but I can try :) my inadequacies are just immeasurable.
My conclusion would be that I know He died for me, for you and for everybody.
As usual..
Love,
Hannah L.
Love and keep loving.