Haha. Useless prop. (: that’s what I am. great.
No I don’t agree. unfortunately I foresee more drama. But what can I say to you? No? haha! well, I think I’d prefer slicing away my tongue than to let you know how I feel. know why? because 1) you’re too happy that you have decided before hand. 2) well, I guess my opinions are just garbage.
all started with my baby being played with without me having a say, though I know even if you asked, I would allow. But well, courtesy?
That I decided to put aside. when I want to join, I feel too tiny of a help and its like I’m self inviting so why bother? :/
Yes, I’m being a girl now. Oh wells, God did not give me boobs and feminine body parts for no reason ya!?
Chat with a friend of mine last night. He told me this: ‘ I don’t like working here. My members aren’t here’. Then I told him, go make new ones. But he said ‘what’s the point?’. then I totally got him.
Like, they would never be as good as your original friends. And plus, too lazy to put all my heart and soul into making a new bunch of friends that will never be as good. Don’t want to seem so desperate as well. Haha! That’s how I feel now.
And this answers your question. Why do I seem to connect better with the opposite sex? Well, because my BFFS at home are mostly girls. & maybe I just don’t think there are those that are as good. or well, we don’t connect in a way. No matter how much I want to, I just feel like I seem so desperate. so I give up. its not like I need anymore ‘girl’ friends. I’m fine. [not, but what can I do right?]
I hang with guys now not because I want to seem like a bitch or a whore. but because I don’t want to feel like a girl. I don’t want to feel so STUPID and YOUNG. so EMOTIONAL. especially emotional. I’m terrible as hell when I feel them.
I’m tired. looking forward to going home! seriously! want to swim all these SHIT out of my system. and recharge myself with all my friends’ love. So I can last another year without feeling so empty like how I am feeling now. I’m running out of love from humans. Yes I know I must be filled with His joy and Him only but no harm looking for some earthly pleasures and happiness once in a while?
sigh
I feel fake again. even my smile isn’t real anymore. its all coming back. seriously I mean this : kill me now.
Love, Hannah
PS: Rosella, mummy wants you to know that if anything happens to me that prevents me from having you, I’m sorry. Sorry for being a coward and giving up too easily. I love you. Know you’d be perfect. Just perfect.
