I mean what I say, sometimes.

Haha. Useless prop. (: that’s what I am. great.

No I don’t agree. unfortunately I foresee more drama. But what can I say to you? No? haha! well, I think I’d prefer slicing away my tongue than to let you know how I feel. know why? because 1) you’re too happy that you have decided before hand. 2) well, I guess my opinions are just garbage.

all started with my baby being played with without me having a say, though I know even if you asked, I would allow. But well, courtesy?

That I decided to put aside. when I want to join, I feel too tiny of a help and its like I’m self inviting so why bother? :/

Yes, I’m being a girl now. Oh wells, God did not give me boobs and feminine body parts for no reason ya!?

Chat with a friend of mine last night. He told me this: ‘ I don’t like working here. My members aren’t here’. Then I told him, go make new ones. But he said ‘what’s the point?’. then I totally got him.

Like, they would never be as good as your original friends. And plus, too lazy to put all my heart and soul into making a new bunch of friends that will never be as good. Don’t want to seem so desperate as well. Haha! That’s how I feel now.

And this answers your question. Why do I seem to connect better with the opposite sex? Well, because my BFFS at home are mostly girls. & maybe I just don’t think there are those that are as good. or well, we don’t connect in a way. No matter how much I want to, I just feel like I seem so desperate. so I give up. its not like I need anymore ‘girl’ friends. I’m fine. [not, but what can I do right?]

I hang with guys now not because I want to seem like a bitch or a whore. but because I don’t want to feel like a girl. I don’t want to feel so STUPID and YOUNG. so EMOTIONAL. especially emotional. I’m terrible as hell when I feel them.

I’m tired. looking forward to going home! seriously! want to swim all these SHIT out of my system. and recharge myself with all my friends’ love. So I can last another year without feeling so empty like how I am feeling now. I’m running out of love from humans. Yes I know I must be filled with His joy and Him only but no harm looking for some earthly pleasures and happiness once in a while?

sigh

I feel fake again. even my smile isn’t real anymore. its all coming back. seriously I mean this : kill me now.

Love, Hannah

PS: Rosella, mummy wants you to know that if anything happens to me that prevents me from having you, I’m sorry. Sorry for being a coward and giving up too easily. I love you. Know you’d be perfect. Just perfect.

I am merely a human.

Sensitive. Jealous. Attention Seeking.

笨蛋！大蠢蛋！没用的家伙！白痴！

Yes, I always complain about you to M&D. I can’t read your mind. I don’t know how to comfort you, your way, when you are having a bad day. Its hard for me to swallow everything you throw at me. I am envious that’s why I do it. I am tired therefore I just let it pass. I cry because I know it’s true. I yell because I want to get your attention. I fold my arms to feel secure. I roll my eyes but silently I am asking for strength and patience. I am sorry.

it was wrong to say what I have said. It came out without me thinking twice. Stupid, I am. Wasn’t that what I first said? lesser than half your IQ and EQ. sigh. though I have accepted myself for who I am, what I don’t like is disappoint people around me and hurt them especially due to this retarded trait of mine.

No I don’t blame you. If its hard for you then just push the blame on me. I deserve it anyway. Somebody’s got to take the hit for the team. Just hopefully I am still able to walk with my head held high after all has happened. After all the blame I will take upon my own shoulders. I’m sorry for not being there with you when that happened. I’m sorry for comforting my friend instead of comforting you first. I am sorry that you had to hold this in for such a long period of time. I am sorry that whatever I have done to you might affect your presentation the other day. I am sorry.

I know I can’t change you or your mindset. If you think I was being pathetic, I am sorry. I deserve the whole world’s curse if that helps you feel relief once again. Sorry for blurting out those words that has hurt you. But know this, no sin is greater than the other. If you have repented and set yourself on the path that is in a Godly manner, you are then made pure once again in His name.

Shouldn’t even have told you. Why did I do that? What was I trying to say? I don’t really know. But all I know was this, when you said he told you that I might have my own problems, I guess its true and that made me wanted to just let you know. I know I shouldn’t make that an excuse to let out my inner and sober thoughts. It should be kept and not revealed to anyone. Horrible thing indeed. I’m sorry.

I wish I just have that one person there for me. Just there to see me cry. Just there to hear me sob. Just there to wipe away my tears.But not asking what happened. But that is impossible. So ya, I’ll just have to do it on my own. Simple and easy and effective. Human I am.

Just a human. How long more can I last? Honestly, I don’t know. but if it multiplies then I would say, not long. Foolish things I would do and have done and won’t mind doing it right this time around. If it multiplies and becomes heavier than the consequences I will have to bear, then I would do it. For what you ask? I guess its just for a second of emotionless. Just to be able to let go all these heavy sacks of guilt and sadness and just unhealthy emotions that are all over me.

Just stay where you are. Or maybe its even better to turn back and run away. Don’t come any closer. What benefit would you get out of me? *laughs* nothing. Perhaps you could even lose a couple of dimes here and there. No. I don’t deserve all good things that you are able to give me because I can’t repay you, I’ll just be a rip off.

You deserve all that I have. Take them. I don’t need them. I won’t do what you wouldn’t like me to do. I would just see you be happy and congratulate you from afar. I don’t know what else I can do. Perhaps that’s it. But that will only happen again when He hardens my heart (Exodus), and that I gathered enough courage to just end it. Funny how I’m already considering it. Maybe you’d be happier then. Less of me, all for you.

Sorry for the EMO post! haha~ Don’t worry! I’m alright. GOLDFISH Hannah would be my nicky tomorrow!

Love, Hannah

PS: yes, love me. that’s all I need.

PPS: there is a place for us. but if my presence would make you unhappy, I’ll go.

Kaleidoscope

From Wikipedia : A kaleidoscope is a circle of mirrors containing loose, colored objects such as beads or pebbles and bits of glass. As the viewer looks into one end, light entering the other end creates a colorful pattern.

Its just like how I would look to God and then I will see all these colorful and bright lights shining directly at me for me to see His beauty.

Coincidence isn’t the right word. Let’s just say every thing that has happened in my life is all blessed by Him. Though some may seem like it’s a horrible thing, but I believe there’s always a rainbow behind the clouds and rain. Patience is the secret ingredient that makes the fruit sweeter. :)

Joy is something entirely different from happiness.  Joy, in the Biblical context, is not an emotion.  Joy is attitude of the heart.  It is not necessarily based on something positive happening.  Joy is something that lasts; happiness is something that is temporary.  When happiness fades away, joy remains.  Joy is something that is bigger than you and I and our current circumstances.  Joy brings us peace in the middle of a storm.  Joy is something that God deposits into us through the Holy Spirit.  The enemy tries everything in his power to steal your joy because it is that important.  On the other hand, the enemy will tempt you with things that will temporarily give you happiness but at the same time drift you away from God. 

 

There is a big difference between joy and happiness.  Happiness is an emotion and temporary; joy is an attitude of the heart.  Hold on tight to your joy. 

 

http://briancromer.com/2008/04/28/difference-between-joy-and-happiness/

It is a joy to know that whenever my world is falling apart, like there is no light to break up the dark, that’s when I look at You. Constantly there to comfort me and heal me from the hurt that I might have collected along the way of falling.

Beautiful indeed are Your works and creation!

Oh! I did not share about the sermon David showed us during cell last Saturday. It really helped me in a way to decide on what I want to achieve and do in the future. I always think that I MUST do something that is in His will but c’mon, its stupid to think that way not only because you will never find out what is in His will but also because He isn’t a GPS. He can’t just say, “Hannah, take a left turn now and become a doctor. That will be a career you would succeed in the future.”! Then there is no reason for freedom! He gave up His freedom in order for us to gain ours. So, do what you must. But always remember that you will  still walk along side with Him & not go against His word. Know this: whatever you do now, is IN His will. It isn’t a coincidence! Read Exodus again. He was the one that harden Pharoah’s heart, remember? So that shows that He is always in control. :)

Now what I must do is, blossom into the flower that He has planned for me to. It may take me several EONS to achieve that, but I know He will be there for me to guide me through this walk with Him.

Love, Hannah

PS: the closer we get, the more I am able to feel warmth in this winter cold.

Thanksgiving Sunday! pt. 2

[cont’d]

There were FREE church breakfast, lunch and dinner! Thanks to all the awesome kitchen hands that prepared them with love! I didn’t even have to spend a DIME on food yesterday! filled with His love and the food He had blessed us all with!

Supposed to go to Jaja’s place for a G.O.C session but I ended up napping in his room! :) really needed that nap! AiWee, Andreas and Nic was there too! Played Starcraft II. Aaron was playing with them too! oh my gosh! how technology have GROWN.

Had a funny dream actually. but I forgot what it was about. oh wells!

at 4.30pm I automatically woke up, I think because I heard some birds singing.. (:

[random ramble #3: I changed my music player! listen to the one which is by Marie Digby called Spell. It is really lovely. filled with emotions but it is really nice!]

OhOh!! Jaja plays DA2! omigosh! hehe~

Jaja and I trammed back to church. That’s when I went back out from church to find Jay and give him his b’day pressie (cuppy cakes)! It was such a sunny day! hot hot!

Happy Birthday Jay! :) don’t really know you for a long period of time but its good to have known you! (: despite our differences, we clicked like instantly! May God bless you abundantly with love, joy and peace that will take you to many wonderful places! Love, Hannah

Before 6pm service started, we (dancers) went to the Parent's room to do one more last practice and then we stretched. While stretching, we had a really nice convo. Abt Hesmond and him leaving. Oh my gosh, Hesmond won’t be joining us already. :( He will be going back to Malaysia! He is an exchange student from Malaysia. From AMPANG! might meet up sometime when I get back! (:

Bonded with AiWee after our dance when there was the sermon. She is pretty cool! (: Silently thanking Him that He gave me an open heart to accept all kinds of different people in my life! All’s good! AiWee is super creative! haha~ she is the girl that I used to be. Cropping my shirts, alter them here and there.. Haha! I have given that up though. Plus I don’t have a sewing machine here. Lazy to use my hand. Always prick myself! :X

After church, I decided to stay in Church for church dinner. Sorry Andreas and AiWee! I talked to Andrew. Andrew is the guy that encouraged me to join Dance Ministry and Music Ministry! He was the first friendly guy that approached me and 姐 when it was our first time there (alone)! Love you Andrew! you are super awesome! (:

Then I talked to Sharon and Ps Lou. Sharon is a Filipino. She is one of the most talented singers I’ve ever met in my whole life! such an inspiration! Energetic for her age! and really bubbly as a person! Love you Ate Sharon! (Ate [pronounced as ah teh] is older sister in Tagalog)  So much to learn from you especially that beautiful personality that you have! Just blows me away. Always remind me of my own Ate back home! Ate Tina!!! :D

Went home after that. Quite tired! Got to chat with Kuya Chris for a bit on whatsapp (kuya means older brother in Tagalog too!). Apparently he isn’t feeling well. Oh no! the people around me are falling sick. YIKES! I’m falling a little sick too but that’s my fault. have been eating not so healthy food lately! VITAMINS & CEREALS & WATER here I come!!

Okay, so now what I have to do is :

• take care of myself properly (go on a little diet) so I wont fall sick on my exam day!
• finish up my make up classes!
• finish up my revision for PE and then do all the tests!
• go for Friday Revision Class at DECV
• help out for School’s Awards Evening! Just at the back of my house (Monash Uni)

actually there are more in my hands but well, minors I guess!

FOCUS wuman! 我可以的！

Love, Hannah

PS: something is happening..

PPS: I miss Miley Cyrus’s song called When I look at you! therefore I added it in my music player! Sorry if it takes EONS to load! 对不起。

PPPS: 只有你明白。只有你的爱。只有你的微笑。只有你。。

香蕉! Banana is who I am. :D

you little cutie monster! (: can’t wait for you to start running. to start school. to grow and blossom into the beautiful flower God has planned for you to be.

Thanksgiving Sunday! pt.1

146th year! Speechless (in a good way, of course!)

There are no words
Good enough to thank You
There are no words to express my praise
But I will lift up my voice
And sing from my heart
With all of my strength

-Hallelujah to the Lamb (hymn)

it has been an AWESOME GODSOME day for me!

was given the privilege  to worship and to give Him honor by dancing!

Though I am not very good at it but I am given at least some ‘Mana’ is dancing :) so I have decided to use them and multiply them by continuously challenging myself to improve for Him.

Decided to sleep at 4am! Silly me huh? Shouldn’t even have slept! :/ was baking! For Yoshi and Jay (it is Jay’s 21st birthday!). Yoshi is because I promised him many EONS ago! so ya.. here are the awesome looking (not sure awesome tasting though) cuppycakes:

I look sleepy! EEKS! still managed to ‘write’ the names okay-ly.

am I forgiven?

Woke up late! Actually I set 5 alarms to wake me up but I kept snoozing them and the next thing I know, it was 7.30am already! crappy! :(

[random ramble: eating cherry tomatoes now! apparently I need them since my skin is getting really OLD and bad!]

So, everything was normal as usual. Practiced before the real thing just to polish up some moves. Warmed up and especially prayed! I always find that praying always helps my nervousness. And it usually reminds me that I’m not doing it for me or to let people know that I am performing but rather I am doing it to praise and worship Him in a different way. :)

OhOh! Worship today was AMAZING! it was so.. OVERWHELMING! loved it. stayed for all 3 services’ worship just to fill up as much of Him as possible! :) LOVELOVELOVE! there was Hugh on the drums (WOAH!), Esmond @ Elec Guitar, JAJA @ bass (woah x2), Bell @ keyboard (woah x3), Abrahm @ acoustic guitar and lead (woah x4), Sharon & Weldy @ b/u singing (woah x5). & there were Strings! Such as the awesome violinists and cellist! must NOT also forget that DANANA was at the Sound system! the songs were so, yummy! filled me up until my spiritual ‘bottle’ is OVERFLOWING with His love and grace and mercy and JOY! THANKYOU

Dance:

• 9AM – it was okay. A little shaky but it was alright! not many mistakes.
• 11.15AM – NOOOO! I messed up biggy time! got tangled by the cloth (loose strings) and then got too nervous till I forgot quite a number of steps! EEKS!
• 6pm – this was my favorite! :) teehee! I thanked Him silently in my heart when I got till the end of my step. I was so filled with happiness, I wanted to jump and yell His name! :X thank GOD I didn’t do that. Must be very PAISEH.

after dancing for 11.15, I didn’t stay for the sermon (stayed already @ 9am) but I went for my discipleship with Maria. Again, we did not really touch on our bible study together but we managed to link some of them to our problems. MUST RMB to bring tissues whenever we have this session together! haha! :’)

we had a really nice chat together. :) Thank you Maria. You’re AWESOME!

[random ramble #2: I am sleepy now.. shall continue tomorrow or when I am free? :/ SORRY!]

Love, Hannah

PS: stay tuned..

Sunny & bright

It was a very productive day today! (:

did not miss any classes. In fact, I’m leaving quite a good impression on my teachers (starting today).

Cleared my BMT & PE make up classes. Need to focus on English & perhaps Maths as well!

I stayed back after school today. until 5pm!! Never felt so good even though I was starving. Haha~ poor guy that was sitting in the library with me must have had troubles focusing since my tummy was grumbling like so many times & so loud as well!!

Anyway, after school I cycled back home and got ready to go to Life Worth Living course @ church!

While I was in the tram, I looked outside. I saw so many cars passed by, slowly (traffic jam). Then I observed the many different kinds of people in the many different kinds of cars. (: quite hilarious actually!

Some were business people in really posh cars. Some were students that had a very 2nd hand look kind of car. Some were family cars with the mum driving in the front. Different people tells a different story.

Then I began to wonder, who would I want to be? Who would I want to portray when other’s take a glimpse of me? Hmm~ I don’t want to be that guy that sits there, smoking while waiting for the lights to turn green. I don’t want to be the girl with the weird hair and run down car. I don’t want to be a frowny business looking person. I want to be smiling. I want to be able to give others a look of love and peace. How do I do that? God knows!! haha~

But yea, just wanted to share with you what an awesome thought I had today when I was in the tram! :D

Perhaps I want to be a woman with a business suit & a smile on my face in a not bad looking car.

Perhaps perhaps.

Still have quite a long time to think of that! Teehee!

Love, Hannah

PS; noticed I changed my mp3 player? :) Do you like it? I am suddenly just interested with strings! really soothing in a way. I’m going to study with my blog opened just for the songs! If I had more time I would add more songs to it! But oh wells! Enjoy~

榴莲公主

when I was younger I used to buy this comic. Its called the durian princess :)

I really liked it. (: still have a whole collection of it at home! teehee~

It was one of the reasons why I was so tough on the outside last time.. haha! miss those days..

Funny how I always think that I was little bit like her.. Hard and solid and strong and bold on the outside but so vulnerable and fragile and soft on the inside..

hehe~ I want to read it again! its so nice! so nice to see how she manages to get past many obstacles even though its tough & rough!

Wonder why I’m talking about this now?! (: it was the Malaysian street fest yesterday at  Victoria Market!! 姐 bought 2 containers of durians $7 each!! teehee~ its sooooo yum! super duper yummy! miss miss durians~

love the smell of it, love the texture of it, love all of durian! its just so nice how it looks so yucky and weird on the outside but its so nice and fruitful on the inside :)

I’m taking a stroll back on my memory lane for a moment.

Remember how daddy always gets free durians from his friends (most of them own durian farms?) so ya! we’ll get them for free. after dinner we’ll rest our tummy for a bit and then we’d drag mummy and daddy down outside.. have the cloth ready. the knife ready. the rubbish bag ready and we’re ready! Daddy would always be the man to chop up the durian. looks like hard work! 谢谢你啊老爸! 幸苦你了。& I love how he always let us try to open them up ourselves. haha! sometimes we’d fail to open them up cuz we’re just not strong enough. but he will praise us anyway. and sometimes we succeed in opening them and u can just smell that victory and taste it as well! (: couldn’t have wished for a better memory of durians! one of our traditions at home! will never forget it!

I wonder when is durian season back home? have I missed it? have I miss that part of our tradition as well? :/ Perhaps in life when we leave our family and friends behind, we will have to just let go. have to create our own new ones. just like the durian! solid on the outside – makes one durian. but when u open it up u get many layers of the fruit. like the many chapters in life. *sigh*

anyway! not going to make this a sad post now would I?

Have a great week ahead!!

Love, Hannah

Tim’s Valete Dinner

15.10.11 (六）

Rush Rush Rush is what happened this whole day!

Rushed to work. Rushed to usher customers in. (Ken & Kim came!)

There was a wedding reception at Red Emperor today. SO many people were rushing too! Rushed the decoration. Rushed the guests to sit and quiet down. Rushed the bride. Oh my GOSH!

Anyway. It was a not bad day. :) Got free cupcakes from the wedding which was yum!

& I have decided to keep 45% of my pay every week and not touch it until I go back to Malaysia! Get to S.H.O.P!! hehe.. 55% of it will be for Offering (NOT ALL!), grocery money ($20/weekly) and then mine to spend daily. which only is around $5 a day. sucks! haha~ well! I can do this.

I decided to spend half of my 55% yesterday on a belt for Tim’s dinner. so expensive! but hey, I do need soon or later. :)

Anyway, I went to cell after work. (always late. :( so sorry!! sigh) it was drizzling. and I don’t know where my umbrella is! GEE! so yes. I was a little soaked. a little. *sniffery sniff!*

It was a TOTALLY bad move to go to cell cuz Rach and I had to rush back home to change. was already late! argh~ then I told the cab driver to drop us at the wrong stop! argh. had to run all the way.. was so sweaty when we reached. what was more humiliating is that our appetizers came out when everyone had them like.. 10 odd minutes ago! gee! :/ YIKES!

but since then on everything was pretty normal.. take a look at the pictures! though I seriously think that the shoes I wore was so not.. fitting with whatever I was wearing! why didn’t I think of my black heels instead!? I’m crazy..

failed picture with John though it’s the only one I have with him. so keepin it!

Rach & I  :)

Eunice Lin (my prayer buddy!) & Rach..

NeNe. :) haha~ sorry! took it while u were eating.. hehe! Eunice so AntiSocial!!

Timothy Tam! haha~ :) Tim Tam (actually is Tan)

the other many people..

aww~

Crown Lager. wish it was a little more chilled. not very yum when it sort of warmed up.

Danana’s creation. out of the blue but lovely!!

NeNe, Eunice, Tim & Rach..

the guys! John, Danana, Tim & David (my cell leader)

Rach, Kim Oh and ME.

hehe.. the prayer buddies! :)

see that star there! reminds me of Gaga all of a sudden! teehee!

my dessert palate! :) Ate most of Danana’s rummed-up-cheese cake as well! YUM

Tim & his tea. why was I taking this actually? I forgot!! hmm~

:)

the 18s in DimSum (my cell)! hehe~ Action Jackson John? :D

David and Nene!!

hehe~

Tim & Rachel

ME & Tim.

woah~ 帅！

Banana & Danana! haha~ funny how we have almost similar nickies. @least I’m not alone!

all smiles.

Yeap. So that’s most of our pictures! :D

we’re all so smiley. (:

Anyway. After that Tim, Rach & I played pool and table tennis for a bit.. Though, table tennis isn’t really my thing since I’m a little tipsy and I had no glasses on! (so need to get contacts!)

pool was fun! though I was the first to lose! but it was fun! :D

we played till like 10.40pm and then head to the small hall for Liverpool vs Manu! It was nice. Haven’t watched soccer with a bunch of people in such a long time. :) miss those days!

1-1 was the score. Seriously don’t like drawn matches! so saddening! prefer one win one lose.. :/ oh wells!

Anyway. got a picture I downloaded from Facebook. its from Kim Oh’s cam. :)

Like this pic. Though my hand looks awkward. hehe~

That night was good. alls good!

Nothing much to add..

Love, Hannah

PS: Have you ever thought just.. maybe.. you belong with me? – Taylor Swift.

Drink with elegance.

Hey people! (:

Yes this post is a little bit on drinking. and when I mean drinking, of course I don’t mean water!

10.10.11 (Monday)

I bought  a voucher from spreets.com for Rum Tasting for 2 only $29. 6 best Rum in the world with complimentary desserts. Yum!

Went with Rachel. Funny how we’re both noobs and how in the blue moon are we suppose to support one another if one just passes out? HAHA. But who cares?

The place is called the 29th Apartment on St.Kilda. It’s a really casual place. So much like an apartment. There’s even a bed, a bath tub, a huge old fashioned tv and so much that reminds you of an apartment that you’d actually live in. (:

Here are the pictures:

See the bed!!!

That’s the soccer game thingy.

Can you see the sink and the bath tub? You can actually sit in it you know? I wasn’t drunk enough to do that though. Haha. Next time! (:

The entrance is on the left. & see that HUGE old fashioned tv? It was showing Mary Poppins!!

That’s our tasting palate.

Each Rum has its card which describes its taste and a little Trivia. Quite cute.

*complimentary desserts* -____-

#1: Sagatiba Pur a Cachaca (40% alc)

#2: My Gay Eclipse (37.5% alc)

#3: Appletons 12 Yr (43% alc) – it was the worst! burnt my throat like it was on fire! and it had this pickling feeling on your tongue. xP

half way there!! we took a little rest because we could feel it in our head already! haha~ Noobs.

#4: Sailor Jerry’s Spiced Rum (40%alc) – it was spicier than the #3!! it tasted a little spicy with that sort of burn feeling as well..

#5: Plantation Nicar agua (37.5%alc) This was.. weird. It says there’s a hint of crème brulee but bullpoopie! it tasted nothing like that. HAHA.. or well, perhaps we don’t know HOW TO taste..hmm~

#6: Plantation XO (40%alc) – this was quite yum actually compared to the rest.. Not burn-y. It was alright. (:

& at the back of the cards there are pictures of old celebs! cool!!

these saved me from being gone to tipsy.. (: life saver.

yeap! we finished ‘em! wait to go.. NOOB POWER! *teehee*

More pictures of US before drinking.. during, the break and after! (:

Drink with elegance (: VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Yes we were on the tram. Haha! Pity those innocent citizens. Had to bear with my awesomely loud voice and our crazy camwhoring. *eeks!

Anyway. It was a pretty Awesome night.

Walked Rachel to Bevan’s place. On the way back, got myself thinking. Thank God I did not follow what my heart wanted me to do. Went straight to the tram stop and waited for the tram. (:

It isn’t hard but well, I am training to strengthen my heart day by day. Soon you’ll just be who you once were to me – a friend. Then, I think I would be able to draw the line, thick and clear with much of my banana-ness. :D

Not going to think and dwell on something that wouldn’t happen right? Must always keep that in mind.

Will move on from now on. 一个人拍手太可怜了。太可惜了。

你真的是一个很好的朋友。对不起。真的很对不起。令到我们之间开了一个洞。很大很大的洞啊。

唉。就这样吧了。我做不到什么了。我已经尽量的把洞好好关起来，但是都没用啊。

算了吧。在海里，我相信一定会有比较好的一条鱼来配合我。只能耐心地等待。一直不能放弃哦！

I think my Chinese is improving! (: Coolios~

Anyway, I have to start studying already. Going to DEACTIVATE my Facebook for at least a month and stop all Social networking! haha~ (: I know I can do it. I’ve done it before. Plus its not very tempting anymore to me.

Whats tempting me now is this:

this is the 8th Book. (: haha~ Bought it in Borders. Totally forgot it came out this year! Was super duper mad and insane with this series. But when SPM came, I stopped. Stopped hoping for ‘Awakened’ & it bumped into me when I was browsing through Borders. Fate! teehee!!

they did not add ‘burned’! it was the 7th book. (: in Yellow! Anyway.. Can’t wait for the next one. WEE!!

Okay! I got to go now. Ice cream calling. And the clothes are waiting for me to fold ‘em up nicely. Plus I have a Math test tomorrow! Fingers crossed I know what I’m doing.

Love, Hannah