Home Sweet Home: Day 5 & 6

.::Day 5::.

hmm~ lets see what happened on this day.. I’m starting to forget what I did! GEE!

oh now I remember..

I went to the office with mummy, daddy and Hilda.. ate 板面 for breakfast..

did some research and what not on my laptop.. [supposed to do my homework! yikes]

well, I was actually looking for a song and also, did some lousy things on the net when I’m supposedly doing something else that is more beneficial!

anyway, around 1.30pm daddy called Hilda and I for lunch and awesome Hilda just needed to pick Secret Recipe.. hmm~ daddy drove there when I didn’t mind walking but hmm, Malaysia!!

they had soup and cake and what not but I ate a real meal! haha! Chicken Cordon Bleu? ate and lalala~

then Hilda brought up to mummy about her school uniform for next year.. and that was when I wanted to slap her so bad! ish~

She told my mum she wanted ‘baju kurung’ but my mum said 1 only and she cracked up! Hilda demanded for 2 and kept scolding my mum.. well, I tried to talk sense into her saying, I only had 1 (which I forgot how many I had, my aunt gave me new ones so.. ) and you only need one anyway.. wear on Monday and Friday la! or she can wear mine but she had to argue saying mine would be too LONG for her and too BIG! well, HALLOOOO! there’s something called a sewing machine no? I used to wear jie’s old clothes too! sew only la though I like them loose anyway.. ish! was so pissed at her.. we actually decided to go to the mall together after lunch before we had the fight but later on I just told her I don’t want her with me..! ISH

so I went to the mall.. got myself an ice cream (had two rude kids skipping the queue and went in front of me! ISH but I let them la.. 大人不怪小人的错) and walked around the familiar mall aimlessly.. then I decided to text John and Ron to ask whether they’d join me.. and they did so yea. had a good chat. :) awesome buddies!

haha~ they were having the time of their lives on that massage chair! :D Ron in blue, John in pink.

after talking and talking while walking without a direction, I suggested Bubble Tea.. but the old Bubble Tea stall in the mall moved to another mall instead so John drove us to somewhere else instead.. :)

we chat till about 5pm and decided it was time to go back.. John dropped me back in the office ‘cuz I had my laptop there and everything else..

at night we had dinner and well, nothing much I guess..

around 9pm John picked me up to go to Ron’s house for more chit chat and hanging around.. this time Jeremy (Yap) was there too.. he arrived that morning from KL..

woah, Jeremy showed us his artworks and I was awestruck! seriously! and Ron’s as well! 各有各的美 :)

we did heaps of checking out Ron’s videos and what not.. when we checked the time it was already 11.30pm! haha~ John and I suggested SUPPER and we dragged Ron along (sorry Ron, knew you were tired).. John brought us to a really new place for me.. Burgermbira? (combination of the two words: Burger + Gembira [happy])..

I seriously didn’t like the stares that I got and well, the stares that I always get!! :/ not trying to be vain or what but I’m serious.. can just feel the eyes on me! and those grin! (argh..)

anyway, we had our burgers (except Ron) and our drinks.. chat and suddenly Mummy called and said they were going to ChuangKiang for supper and asked me to go over when I’m done with my friends.. we finished around 12 ish and I followed John to drop the 2 off and brought John to see my family (without Hilda).. he had a good chat with my dad I reckon.. :]

when I got home, did some usual things and suddenly my dad called me over to his room with Jie.. we had a really long talk, the four of us [ daddy, mummy, jie and I ] tears rolled, voice projected and eyes bawled.. the talk ended around 4am.. SHIT!

nope, not letting you know what happened in that room.. what said that stays there.. (hopefully)

that’s about it for my DAY 5.. slept with a filled up tummy and a troubled heart! :/ craps!!

 

.::Day 6::.

woke up at 9.15am. made a date with the boys again but this time with Jaslene, Angeline and her sister + Ben and Jie.. :) went to HoiYin! awesome breakfast place near the beach..

had a great chat with the guys. had to go home to buy food for dinner so I went off early instead of watching a movie with them.. sorry! [ first time ever I got invited to watch Breaking Dawn with guys!! ]

I forgot what I did on this day but I do remember I made meatballs!! :) [its 23/12/2011 now – sorryyy!!!]

& Jaslene  slept over. she kept smacking my bum! gee!! WUMAN!!

over all I guess it wasn’t a bad day..

Love, Hannah

许诺

哇！昨晚看了一部电影，太浪漫了。也太悲惨， 唉！

《白蛇传说》

I can only describe this movie with this one word : Epic! :)

“虽然我已经修炼了一千年， 可这一千年都不如跟你的一瞬间重要。”

really like the plot and the story.. just awesome! seldom see such a nice Chinese movie around nowadays.

“失去你还怕失去什么？”

很对啊！但是在这人生之间还有这种爱吗？还有谁敢那么勇敢的爱？唉，太令人失望了。

可能是这样吧了，就把爱丢去海里，永远都不能拥有。

妖怪也敢爱的那么深。那我们人呢？算什么东西啊！

“我的心，不会变，为了你，再出现。”

看了才明白，爱有多伟大。能带一个人那么多的欢乐，也能带那么多的悲哀。

最后，令我感动的是这一句。。

“只要快乐，爱是没有错”

Love, Hannah

Home Sweet Home: Day 4

slept half a day today! hehe! must have been really tired from bowling last night!

had a really nice dream too, I guess I just didn’t want the dream to end..

woke up and realised I had heaps of messages in my phone and one of them is from an anonymous number which said ‘wazzup?’.. and I thought to myself, who could that be, so I asked.. guess what? it was RON :) good ol’ friend!

Ron – its amazing how we first met each other! :D a really funny story!! and our friendship lasted THIS long.. from when I was form 1 till now! Gee!! :)

he just got back today.. haha! and yeap, I went over to his place after lunch and one episode of Jie’s drama.. I should really refrain myself from watching it! it’s horrible!!

& thank GOD I remembered how to get to his place even when I have only been there once to drop him of (John drove).. it has almost been a year and I could remember, woo! thank God!! *good memory still in tact?*

went over to his place abt 3-ish? had a really good long talk! haha~ he told me about his life there in NZ and I told him a little bit of mine, couldn’t really open up.. 1) those aren’t fairy tales or anything to be celebrated- mostly bad news.. :(    2) I’m afraid I’d cry in front of him! craps!

anyway, we had a really LONG talk.. about 6pm I had to go back.. walked to MaMa’s house (mummy didn’t get my SMS and she went home already so had to get a ride from MaMa).. On the way to her place, saw Richie playing his normal evening games with his neighbors in the park.. gave him a cousin hug and well, hope to see him again soon!! Bambi is still Bambi!! argh! her high pitched voice greeted me when I reached the gates!! GEE! silly dog! YiKuJie came over and well, we chatted a little and hmm~ did I actually grew taller? I doubt so since Ben had shoot up like some plant! YiKuJie and MaMa dropped me back home on their way to their usual walks in the evening.. Jie should really join them since she doesn’t want to join me when I go for my swim.. *though I’m a little restricted from going for a swim.. stupid girl problem!!*

ate and again, had some heart to heart with Tina Jie Jie.. :( she’s wise in a funny way! that wuman!

ooo OOO! I painted my nails!! teehee!! haven’t had the time, or well, the interest to paint them when I was in Melbourne.. plus my work didn’t allow me to paint them with striking colours so I don’t see any reason for me to waste my time on them right? But yes!! I even had them mixed up like what I used to do before! :) miss miss!! this time I had to try pink.. why? I don’t know.. think cuz I’ve been using my brother’s clothes here so I need some sort of thing to make myself seem feminine in a way? haha! some lame excuse yea? but yes! had fun indeed!! especially when I could bond with Hilda in any way would be a plus!

oh and here is my picture when I got my foot spa! :D teehee!

 

thank you Hilda! u did a beautiful job! *though I had to trim my own nails myself*

oh oh!! guess what I found when I went to mummy’s office? hehe!!

haha!! this is such a CUTE picture! :) Ben, Hilda (in white of course), ME and Jie! wahaha~ Jie lost her front tooth! maybe I punched her too hard? :/ hmm~ I don’t remember but I remembered she stuffed my head in toilet bowl! :( damn it! haha~ I too remember that I closed the car door on her hand intentionally! teehee! we were some KUNG FU PANDAs back then! & Ben used to run so fast that he couldn’t press his break in time to stop himself, and BAM he’d usually smack himself on the wall and fall flat on his bum! haha~ that’s why his head is huge now! haha~ from all the wall banging..

I LOVE US! Now, before and forever! :)

Love, Hannah

Home Sweet Home: Day 2 & 3

.::Day 2::.

Nothing much happened..

mummy woke me up and I woke Hilda up.. We went to Lot 66 for breakfast (干捞面和鱼圆） [Papa & Mama Leong, Hilda and I]

I called Uncle Chong up to ask about my driving thingy.. :( apparently I have to take my M’sian license to drive here! SHUCKS.. well, I’m up for it..!

Police station was our next stop to report my ‘missing-in-action’ IC (Identification card) but instead they said we can go straight to JPN to make it! hmm~ :)

My right thumb print wasn’t working.. :’( resulting in the delay of me getting my NEW IC.. oh wells! as long as I’ve done what I’m supposed to do.. :)

went home. got my foot spa from Hilda. :D finally clean feet! now just have to find time to paint them..

had dinner at home (Tina Jie Jie cooked as usual.. mm home cooked food!)

got to spend some time with Tina Jie Jie, talked and cleaned the kitchen at the same time.. good times good times! had some time out to Aunty Sally’s place for a little chat.. mm~

after that,around 10pm Yan Wen picked me up for YUMCHA! 很喜欢! [Yan Wen, Hui Shun, Yi Yeong and I in her white MYVI]

ate 西米捞 by the beach.. chat a lot and heaps of questions for me.. YIKES.. Elaine and David came later.. Yi Yeong just finished his SPM yesterday.. Good on ya’ bro! all’s good I would say.. though I do feel a little gap.. its been ages since we gathered plus Elaine and David moved to another church.. hmm~

I have a question in my head on this day ever since Jie got me hooked on her Chinese drama.. There will always be some love triangle in a drama and this one got me thinking whether the heroin’s choice would be what I would choose too in real life.. I seriously don’t know.. All I know was to cry even when it wasn’t a sad scene or anything but it was just her choice clashed with mine and I understood why she did what she did and why I wouldn’t do it.. Hmm~ I don’t know.. It really hit me hard, this show! Oh well.. All I can say and do is to leave it up to Him.. I’ll let Him hold the pen to my life’s book..

How to be brave? How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?

around 12am David sent me back home (had french fries with ice cream after my 2 bowls of 西米捞 – hehe!)

but I got dragged for supper again [daddy, ben, hilda, and Jie] @ Khalsa (favorite Roti Telur place!!).. feel so fat now! craps!! ate so much~

since Aunt Flow came, swimming would be my last option for a form of exercise! So how to burn the extra weight? guess I just have to carry them!! :/

 

.::Day 3::.

again, mummy woke me up! we [ Ben, Jie, Hilda and I ] decided to go to the Pasar for the awesome noodles and half boiled eggs last night but when I tried to wake them up, they wouldn’t budge! :/ so I went alone with Papa and Mama Leong..

missed the good and cheap food! worth the wait! :) especially the EGGS! wee..

After that I went to the office (thank God I brought my laptop) and chilled.. paid the bill, updated my Facebook and just chilled.. watched a movie (half of it before lunch) called The Eagle. It’s a good movie, I reckon..

Daddy had to eat lunch with his friends so I went to Megamall with mummy around 1.30pm.. We shopped at Guardian for about 1 hour! 0____________-  spent RM500! my gosh.. mummy!!! but can’t blame her, she’s only doing that for us! Love you!!

Mummy is such a ‘GOOD & LOYAL’ customer at Guardian.. haha! even the 姐姐 will keep some goods for mummy and all the freebies.. haha!! funny!! :D

ate lunch with her, didn’t get to ‘talk’ to her ‘cause she was stressing about the phone bills! :/ BEN n HILDA! ish!! 2 sims and phones each?! for WHAT? 0____________-

fixed my glasses.. went back to the office until daddy told me to see Kaiyeh and WeiJun.. so I went over to IQ Quest (few shop lots away from my parent’s office).. helped WeiJun with Additional Maths! woah!! Miss maths!! (reminds me: my holiday homework!! – tomorrow I promise to start on them!)

around 4.30pm, I went back to finish watching my movie.. :) good movie good movie indeed!

reached home and crashed on the bean bag arnd 6pm! was so sleepy! I think my feet is really injured that its draining my entire body’s energy just to support them! :(

had yummy dinner of course!

around 7.50pm all of us were squashed into daddy’s car, on our way to the charity event (BOWLING!) that was organized by the Pahang Royal Golf Club.. we had fun! :) [Jie and I played with a malay girl ; WeiJun, ZenYe, Ben and Hilda played amongst themselves] it was great.. had a couple of strikes! haha!! :D though my arm seriously hurts like hell now! :( played 3 games + some additional naughty randomness! teehee!

so I injured my feet and now my right arm.. great!'

the event ended at 11pm. then Ben wanted supper! so ChungKiang was our next stop! haha~ woo!! love the food.. had ‘ngar po 老鼠粉' and ‘扣肉面'.. yumyum!!

& here I am.. washed my face with the newly bought KOREAN products from Guardian thanks to Mummy Dearest.. feel clean and tired..

pain was all I felt during the game.. :( physically hurting myself and honestly, emotionally I’m drained..

& randomly, my MP3 player is playing a really nice song at the moment.. its called God gave me you by Blake Shelton..

why did He give me you, I ask myself.. when all I feel now is just pain but oh well.. temporary pain and its okay, I have confidence in myself that I will just shrug it off in no time.. I’m fine. [full stop]

PS: time to sleep now.. zZz

Day 4 here I come!!!

Love, Hannah

Home Sweet Home: Day 1

Hello there!

I apologize for the ‘lag’ from OCTOBER and I’m back (shocking!).

Many incidents happened in between these 2 timelines.

Oh well, good and bad I should say..

IYES I’m finally back HOME! the rain welcomed me for the whole night (last night)..

Yesterday, I was still working (@ Red Emperor).. Was still stressing out with Hazel on what to stuff into our 2 luggage bags! Was still having some nice Pizzas with Hazel’s cell members (Ladies Night Out).. Everything happened quite slowly at that time itself then again it happened so fast I forgot how I got into the plane. Haha!

Florence was so kind to give Jie and I a lift to the airport. We were quite early.. Queued up at the check in area and soon enough we dropped our luggage off. :)

We walked around and ‘shopped’ a little. Bought jie a neck pillow and I bought 2 Midori (for $58!! – duty free!).. I’m NOT an alcoholic! haha~ yes I am denying it! I bought it because they don’t sell it here in Malaysia, so I just wanted to let my friends try it. :D

Called up Hesmond because WE WERE BOARDING THE SAME PLANE :)

From then on, we 3 (Hazel Hesmond and Hannah) H’s began our journey back together! :D

I didn’t expect myself to sleep on the plane but I did.. Pity the guy who sat beside me.. (haha!) I kept sneezing and moving around [uncomfy seat!].. & to the guy infront of Jie which I accidentally made him wake up.. :/ Anyway, I got REST which was really weird cuz I thought I wouldn’t be able to..

When I touched down we bid our good byes to Hesmond and waited for MnD in Starbucks [ didn’t like the chocolate that Jie bought ].. Hilda and Ben came too! We went to PoPo’s house in PJ and had a little chat before we head off for breakfast (yumcha – dim sums), then we went to SS2 (new mall in PJ) to shop a little.. hmm~

when we went back to PoPo’s house, Jie and I ate durian! (oh good news! Hilda’s period finally came! haha..) then drank the ‘凉茶' that PoPo boiled.. hmm 妹妹 (my little cousin) has grown up already!! SO BIG and HEAVY, can’t carry her anymore..

after some calls to my beloveds (FRIENDS) we head back home (Kuantan), slept in the car again! I think I was too tired? when I woke up, we had already reached my hometown and we were at the nice and yummy Rojak place but I JUST woke up! ish! couldn’t they have woke me up before we reached? then I could let my tummy prepare itself? gee! anyway, had rojak and CENDOL! mmm~ yummy!

Home was the same. Dogs still barked and welcomed us as usual. :’) Tina Jie Jie almost made me cry! gee! that wuman.. Happy , yes I am!

Daddy decided to go for golf which automatically made me want to swim. Hilda came along to 陪. had some melancholy time for myself while swimming.. thought of what happened the whole year and thank God for just about EVERYTHING He gave me.. the bad and the good. :)

Hilda now owes me a foot spa! MUAHAHA.. because she dared me to swim 20 laps non stop which was no biggy! :D wee~ foot spa here I come.. (home made foot spa!)

When I got back home after swimming ( the rain forced daddy and I to leave our sport ) mummy was sleeping and she fell sick.. EEKS.. :/ (mild fever) that just leaves Daddy, Ben, Jie and I for dinner cuz Hilda didn’t want to go since she need to rest due to her girly problem.. We went to the Red Wine Chicken noodle soup place! :D with Mama & YehYeh.. Alls yum! mmm~ had O-Jian! YUMM!!

the rain was SUPER heavy!! Most of Kuantan was flooded! gee.. Thank God my grannies and our house is on higher ground.. :/

hmm~ when I got back, had some time with Hilda.. watched Modern Family!!! :D happy times happy times!

had some time alone before I slept.. different bed, different room, different house, different country! :) but it’s the same.. same when I left it.. ‘enjoy your holidays’ people said to me before I left Melbourne.. so coming home is a holiday now? instead of a home? it really is making me think.. woah.. Sanguine Melancholic isn’t really working for me..

Anyway, just enjoy my time here.. especially with those I love, with those I miss, with those who loves me too.. ‘Thank You for Loving me even though I have failed you many times..’

Love, Hannah

I mean what I say, sometimes.

Haha. Useless prop. (: that’s what I am. great.

No I don’t agree. unfortunately I foresee more drama. But what can I say to you? No? haha! well, I think I’d prefer slicing away my tongue than to let you know how I feel. know why? because 1) you’re too happy that you have decided before hand. 2) well, I guess my opinions are just garbage.

all started with my baby being played with without me having a say, though I know even if you asked, I would allow. But well, courtesy?

That I decided to put aside. when I want to join, I feel too tiny of a help and its like I’m self inviting so why bother? :/

Yes, I’m being a girl now. Oh wells, God did not give me boobs and feminine body parts for no reason ya!?

Chat with a friend of mine last night. He told me this: ‘ I don’t like working here. My members aren’t here’. Then I told him, go make new ones. But he said ‘what’s the point?’. then I totally got him.

Like, they would never be as good as your original friends. And plus, too lazy to put all my heart and soul into making a new bunch of friends that will never be as good. Don’t want to seem so desperate as well. Haha! That’s how I feel now.

And this answers your question. Why do I seem to connect better with the opposite sex? Well, because my BFFS at home are mostly girls. & maybe I just don’t think there are those that are as good. or well, we don’t connect in a way. No matter how much I want to, I just feel like I seem so desperate. so I give up. its not like I need anymore ‘girl’ friends. I’m fine. [not, but what can I do right?]

I hang with guys now not because I want to seem like a bitch or a whore. but because I don’t want to feel like a girl. I don’t want to feel so STUPID and YOUNG. so EMOTIONAL. especially emotional. I’m terrible as hell when I feel them.

I’m tired. looking forward to going home! seriously! want to swim all these SHIT out of my system. and recharge myself with all my friends’ love. So I can last another year without feeling so empty like how I am feeling now. I’m running out of love from humans. Yes I know I must be filled with His joy and Him only but no harm looking for some earthly pleasures and happiness once in a while?

sigh

I feel fake again. even my smile isn’t real anymore. its all coming back. seriously I mean this : kill me now.

Love, Hannah

PS: Rosella, mummy wants you to know that if anything happens to me that prevents me from having you, I’m sorry. Sorry for being a coward and giving up too easily. I love you. Know you’d be perfect. Just perfect.

I am merely a human.

Sensitive. Jealous. Attention Seeking.

笨蛋！大蠢蛋！没用的家伙！白痴！

Yes, I always complain about you to M&D. I can’t read your mind. I don’t know how to comfort you, your way, when you are having a bad day. Its hard for me to swallow everything you throw at me. I am envious that’s why I do it. I am tired therefore I just let it pass. I cry because I know it’s true. I yell because I want to get your attention. I fold my arms to feel secure. I roll my eyes but silently I am asking for strength and patience. I am sorry.

it was wrong to say what I have said. It came out without me thinking twice. Stupid, I am. Wasn’t that what I first said? lesser than half your IQ and EQ. sigh. though I have accepted myself for who I am, what I don’t like is disappoint people around me and hurt them especially due to this retarded trait of mine.

No I don’t blame you. If its hard for you then just push the blame on me. I deserve it anyway. Somebody’s got to take the hit for the team. Just hopefully I am still able to walk with my head held high after all has happened. After all the blame I will take upon my own shoulders. I’m sorry for not being there with you when that happened. I’m sorry for comforting my friend instead of comforting you first. I am sorry that you had to hold this in for such a long period of time. I am sorry that whatever I have done to you might affect your presentation the other day. I am sorry.

I know I can’t change you or your mindset. If you think I was being pathetic, I am sorry. I deserve the whole world’s curse if that helps you feel relief once again. Sorry for blurting out those words that has hurt you. But know this, no sin is greater than the other. If you have repented and set yourself on the path that is in a Godly manner, you are then made pure once again in His name.

Shouldn’t even have told you. Why did I do that? What was I trying to say? I don’t really know. But all I know was this, when you said he told you that I might have my own problems, I guess its true and that made me wanted to just let you know. I know I shouldn’t make that an excuse to let out my inner and sober thoughts. It should be kept and not revealed to anyone. Horrible thing indeed. I’m sorry.

I wish I just have that one person there for me. Just there to see me cry. Just there to hear me sob. Just there to wipe away my tears.But not asking what happened. But that is impossible. So ya, I’ll just have to do it on my own. Simple and easy and effective. Human I am.

Just a human. How long more can I last? Honestly, I don’t know. but if it multiplies then I would say, not long. Foolish things I would do and have done and won’t mind doing it right this time around. If it multiplies and becomes heavier than the consequences I will have to bear, then I would do it. For what you ask? I guess its just for a second of emotionless. Just to be able to let go all these heavy sacks of guilt and sadness and just unhealthy emotions that are all over me.

Just stay where you are. Or maybe its even better to turn back and run away. Don’t come any closer. What benefit would you get out of me? *laughs* nothing. Perhaps you could even lose a couple of dimes here and there. No. I don’t deserve all good things that you are able to give me because I can’t repay you, I’ll just be a rip off.

You deserve all that I have. Take them. I don’t need them. I won’t do what you wouldn’t like me to do. I would just see you be happy and congratulate you from afar. I don’t know what else I can do. Perhaps that’s it. But that will only happen again when He hardens my heart (Exodus), and that I gathered enough courage to just end it. Funny how I’m already considering it. Maybe you’d be happier then. Less of me, all for you.

Sorry for the EMO post! haha~ Don’t worry! I’m alright. GOLDFISH Hannah would be my nicky tomorrow!

Love, Hannah

PS: yes, love me. that’s all I need.

PPS: there is a place for us. but if my presence would make you unhappy, I’ll go.

Kaleidoscope

From Wikipedia : A kaleidoscope is a circle of mirrors containing loose, colored objects such as beads or pebbles and bits of glass. As the viewer looks into one end, light entering the other end creates a colorful pattern.

Its just like how I would look to God and then I will see all these colorful and bright lights shining directly at me for me to see His beauty.

Coincidence isn’t the right word. Let’s just say every thing that has happened in my life is all blessed by Him. Though some may seem like it’s a horrible thing, but I believe there’s always a rainbow behind the clouds and rain. Patience is the secret ingredient that makes the fruit sweeter. :)

Joy is something entirely different from happiness.  Joy, in the Biblical context, is not an emotion.  Joy is attitude of the heart.  It is not necessarily based on something positive happening.  Joy is something that lasts; happiness is something that is temporary.  When happiness fades away, joy remains.  Joy is something that is bigger than you and I and our current circumstances.  Joy brings us peace in the middle of a storm.  Joy is something that God deposits into us through the Holy Spirit.  The enemy tries everything in his power to steal your joy because it is that important.  On the other hand, the enemy will tempt you with things that will temporarily give you happiness but at the same time drift you away from God. 

 

There is a big difference between joy and happiness.  Happiness is an emotion and temporary; joy is an attitude of the heart.  Hold on tight to your joy. 

 

http://briancromer.com/2008/04/28/difference-between-joy-and-happiness/

It is a joy to know that whenever my world is falling apart, like there is no light to break up the dark, that’s when I look at You. Constantly there to comfort me and heal me from the hurt that I might have collected along the way of falling.

Beautiful indeed are Your works and creation!

Oh! I did not share about the sermon David showed us during cell last Saturday. It really helped me in a way to decide on what I want to achieve and do in the future. I always think that I MUST do something that is in His will but c’mon, its stupid to think that way not only because you will never find out what is in His will but also because He isn’t a GPS. He can’t just say, “Hannah, take a left turn now and become a doctor. That will be a career you would succeed in the future.”! Then there is no reason for freedom! He gave up His freedom in order for us to gain ours. So, do what you must. But always remember that you will  still walk along side with Him & not go against His word. Know this: whatever you do now, is IN His will. It isn’t a coincidence! Read Exodus again. He was the one that harden Pharoah’s heart, remember? So that shows that He is always in control. :)

Now what I must do is, blossom into the flower that He has planned for me to. It may take me several EONS to achieve that, but I know He will be there for me to guide me through this walk with Him.

Love, Hannah

PS: the closer we get, the more I am able to feel warmth in this winter cold.

Thanksgiving Sunday! pt. 2

[cont’d]

There were FREE church breakfast, lunch and dinner! Thanks to all the awesome kitchen hands that prepared them with love! I didn’t even have to spend a DIME on food yesterday! filled with His love and the food He had blessed us all with!

Supposed to go to Jaja’s place for a G.O.C session but I ended up napping in his room! :) really needed that nap! AiWee, Andreas and Nic was there too! Played Starcraft II. Aaron was playing with them too! oh my gosh! how technology have GROWN.

Had a funny dream actually. but I forgot what it was about. oh wells!

at 4.30pm I automatically woke up, I think because I heard some birds singing.. (:

[random ramble #3: I changed my music player! listen to the one which is by Marie Digby called Spell. It is really lovely. filled with emotions but it is really nice!]

OhOh!! Jaja plays DA2! omigosh! hehe~

Jaja and I trammed back to church. That’s when I went back out from church to find Jay and give him his b’day pressie (cuppy cakes)! It was such a sunny day! hot hot!

Happy Birthday Jay! :) don’t really know you for a long period of time but its good to have known you! (: despite our differences, we clicked like instantly! May God bless you abundantly with love, joy and peace that will take you to many wonderful places! Love, Hannah

Before 6pm service started, we (dancers) went to the Parent's room to do one more last practice and then we stretched. While stretching, we had a really nice convo. Abt Hesmond and him leaving. Oh my gosh, Hesmond won’t be joining us already. :( He will be going back to Malaysia! He is an exchange student from Malaysia. From AMPANG! might meet up sometime when I get back! (:

Bonded with AiWee after our dance when there was the sermon. She is pretty cool! (: Silently thanking Him that He gave me an open heart to accept all kinds of different people in my life! All’s good! AiWee is super creative! haha~ she is the girl that I used to be. Cropping my shirts, alter them here and there.. Haha! I have given that up though. Plus I don’t have a sewing machine here. Lazy to use my hand. Always prick myself! :X

After church, I decided to stay in Church for church dinner. Sorry Andreas and AiWee! I talked to Andrew. Andrew is the guy that encouraged me to join Dance Ministry and Music Ministry! He was the first friendly guy that approached me and 姐 when it was our first time there (alone)! Love you Andrew! you are super awesome! (:

Then I talked to Sharon and Ps Lou. Sharon is a Filipino. She is one of the most talented singers I’ve ever met in my whole life! such an inspiration! Energetic for her age! and really bubbly as a person! Love you Ate Sharon! (Ate [pronounced as ah teh] is older sister in Tagalog)  So much to learn from you especially that beautiful personality that you have! Just blows me away. Always remind me of my own Ate back home! Ate Tina!!! :D

Went home after that. Quite tired! Got to chat with Kuya Chris for a bit on whatsapp (kuya means older brother in Tagalog too!). Apparently he isn’t feeling well. Oh no! the people around me are falling sick. YIKES! I’m falling a little sick too but that’s my fault. have been eating not so healthy food lately! VITAMINS & CEREALS & WATER here I come!!

Okay, so now what I have to do is :

• take care of myself properly (go on a little diet) so I wont fall sick on my exam day!
• finish up my make up classes!
• finish up my revision for PE and then do all the tests!
• go for Friday Revision Class at DECV
• help out for School’s Awards Evening! Just at the back of my house (Monash Uni)

actually there are more in my hands but well, minors I guess!

FOCUS wuman! 我可以的！

Love, Hannah

PS: something is happening..

PPS: I miss Miley Cyrus’s song called When I look at you! therefore I added it in my music player! Sorry if it takes EONS to load! 对不起。

PPPS: 只有你明白。只有你的爱。只有你的微笑。只有你。。

香蕉! Banana is who I am. :D

you little cutie monster! (: can’t wait for you to start running. to start school. to grow and blossom into the beautiful flower God has planned for you to be.

Thanksgiving Sunday! pt.1

146th year! Speechless (in a good way, of course!)

There are no words
Good enough to thank You
There are no words to express my praise
But I will lift up my voice
And sing from my heart
With all of my strength

-Hallelujah to the Lamb (hymn)

it has been an AWESOME GODSOME day for me!

was given the privilege  to worship and to give Him honor by dancing!

Though I am not very good at it but I am given at least some ‘Mana’ is dancing :) so I have decided to use them and multiply them by continuously challenging myself to improve for Him.

Decided to sleep at 4am! Silly me huh? Shouldn’t even have slept! :/ was baking! For Yoshi and Jay (it is Jay’s 21st birthday!). Yoshi is because I promised him many EONS ago! so ya.. here are the awesome looking (not sure awesome tasting though) cuppycakes:

I look sleepy! EEKS! still managed to ‘write’ the names okay-ly.

am I forgiven?

Woke up late! Actually I set 5 alarms to wake me up but I kept snoozing them and the next thing I know, it was 7.30am already! crappy! :(

[random ramble: eating cherry tomatoes now! apparently I need them since my skin is getting really OLD and bad!]

So, everything was normal as usual. Practiced before the real thing just to polish up some moves. Warmed up and especially prayed! I always find that praying always helps my nervousness. And it usually reminds me that I’m not doing it for me or to let people know that I am performing but rather I am doing it to praise and worship Him in a different way. :)

OhOh! Worship today was AMAZING! it was so.. OVERWHELMING! loved it. stayed for all 3 services’ worship just to fill up as much of Him as possible! :) LOVELOVELOVE! there was Hugh on the drums (WOAH!), Esmond @ Elec Guitar, JAJA @ bass (woah x2), Bell @ keyboard (woah x3), Abrahm @ acoustic guitar and lead (woah x4), Sharon & Weldy @ b/u singing (woah x5). & there were Strings! Such as the awesome violinists and cellist! must NOT also forget that DANANA was at the Sound system! the songs were so, yummy! filled me up until my spiritual ‘bottle’ is OVERFLOWING with His love and grace and mercy and JOY! THANKYOU

Dance:

• 9AM – it was okay. A little shaky but it was alright! not many mistakes.
• 11.15AM – NOOOO! I messed up biggy time! got tangled by the cloth (loose strings) and then got too nervous till I forgot quite a number of steps! EEKS!
• 6pm – this was my favorite! :) teehee! I thanked Him silently in my heart when I got till the end of my step. I was so filled with happiness, I wanted to jump and yell His name! :X thank GOD I didn’t do that. Must be very PAISEH.

after dancing for 11.15, I didn’t stay for the sermon (stayed already @ 9am) but I went for my discipleship with Maria. Again, we did not really touch on our bible study together but we managed to link some of them to our problems. MUST RMB to bring tissues whenever we have this session together! haha! :’)

we had a really nice chat together. :) Thank you Maria. You’re AWESOME!

[random ramble #2: I am sleepy now.. shall continue tomorrow or when I am free? :/ SORRY!]

Love, Hannah

PS: stay tuned..

Sunny & bright

It was a very productive day today! (:

did not miss any classes. In fact, I’m leaving quite a good impression on my teachers (starting today).

Cleared my BMT & PE make up classes. Need to focus on English & perhaps Maths as well!

I stayed back after school today. until 5pm!! Never felt so good even though I was starving. Haha~ poor guy that was sitting in the library with me must have had troubles focusing since my tummy was grumbling like so many times & so loud as well!!

Anyway, after school I cycled back home and got ready to go to Life Worth Living course @ church!

While I was in the tram, I looked outside. I saw so many cars passed by, slowly (traffic jam). Then I observed the many different kinds of people in the many different kinds of cars. (: quite hilarious actually!

Some were business people in really posh cars. Some were students that had a very 2nd hand look kind of car. Some were family cars with the mum driving in the front. Different people tells a different story.

Then I began to wonder, who would I want to be? Who would I want to portray when other’s take a glimpse of me? Hmm~ I don’t want to be that guy that sits there, smoking while waiting for the lights to turn green. I don’t want to be the girl with the weird hair and run down car. I don’t want to be a frowny business looking person. I want to be smiling. I want to be able to give others a look of love and peace. How do I do that? God knows!! haha~

But yea, just wanted to share with you what an awesome thought I had today when I was in the tram! :D

Perhaps I want to be a woman with a business suit & a smile on my face in a not bad looking car.

Perhaps perhaps.

Still have quite a long time to think of that! Teehee!

Love, Hannah

PS; noticed I changed my mp3 player? :) Do you like it? I am suddenly just interested with strings! really soothing in a way. I’m going to study with my blog opened just for the songs! If I had more time I would add more songs to it! But oh wells! Enjoy~

榴莲公主

when I was younger I used to buy this comic. Its called the durian princess :)

I really liked it. (: still have a whole collection of it at home! teehee~

It was one of the reasons why I was so tough on the outside last time.. haha! miss those days..

Funny how I always think that I was little bit like her.. Hard and solid and strong and bold on the outside but so vulnerable and fragile and soft on the inside..

hehe~ I want to read it again! its so nice! so nice to see how she manages to get past many obstacles even though its tough & rough!

Wonder why I’m talking about this now?! (: it was the Malaysian street fest yesterday at  Victoria Market!! 姐 bought 2 containers of durians $7 each!! teehee~ its sooooo yum! super duper yummy! miss miss durians~

love the smell of it, love the texture of it, love all of durian! its just so nice how it looks so yucky and weird on the outside but its so nice and fruitful on the inside :)

I’m taking a stroll back on my memory lane for a moment.

Remember how daddy always gets free durians from his friends (most of them own durian farms?) so ya! we’ll get them for free. after dinner we’ll rest our tummy for a bit and then we’d drag mummy and daddy down outside.. have the cloth ready. the knife ready. the rubbish bag ready and we’re ready! Daddy would always be the man to chop up the durian. looks like hard work! 谢谢你啊老爸! 幸苦你了。& I love how he always let us try to open them up ourselves. haha! sometimes we’d fail to open them up cuz we’re just not strong enough. but he will praise us anyway. and sometimes we succeed in opening them and u can just smell that victory and taste it as well! (: couldn’t have wished for a better memory of durians! one of our traditions at home! will never forget it!

I wonder when is durian season back home? have I missed it? have I miss that part of our tradition as well? :/ Perhaps in life when we leave our family and friends behind, we will have to just let go. have to create our own new ones. just like the durian! solid on the outside – makes one durian. but when u open it up u get many layers of the fruit. like the many chapters in life. *sigh*

anyway! not going to make this a sad post now would I?

Have a great week ahead!!

Love, Hannah

Tim’s Valete Dinner

15.10.11 (六）

Rush Rush Rush is what happened this whole day!

Rushed to work. Rushed to usher customers in. (Ken & Kim came!)

There was a wedding reception at Red Emperor today. SO many people were rushing too! Rushed the decoration. Rushed the guests to sit and quiet down. Rushed the bride. Oh my GOSH!

Anyway. It was a not bad day. :) Got free cupcakes from the wedding which was yum!

& I have decided to keep 45% of my pay every week and not touch it until I go back to Malaysia! Get to S.H.O.P!! hehe.. 55% of it will be for Offering (NOT ALL!), grocery money ($20/weekly) and then mine to spend daily. which only is around $5 a day. sucks! haha~ well! I can do this.

I decided to spend half of my 55% yesterday on a belt for Tim’s dinner. so expensive! but hey, I do need soon or later. :)

Anyway, I went to cell after work. (always late. :( so sorry!! sigh) it was drizzling. and I don’t know where my umbrella is! GEE! so yes. I was a little soaked. a little. *sniffery sniff!*

It was a TOTALLY bad move to go to cell cuz Rach and I had to rush back home to change. was already late! argh~ then I told the cab driver to drop us at the wrong stop! argh. had to run all the way.. was so sweaty when we reached. what was more humiliating is that our appetizers came out when everyone had them like.. 10 odd minutes ago! gee! :/ YIKES!

but since then on everything was pretty normal.. take a look at the pictures! though I seriously think that the shoes I wore was so not.. fitting with whatever I was wearing! why didn’t I think of my black heels instead!? I’m crazy..

failed picture with John though it’s the only one I have with him. so keepin it!

Rach & I  :)

Eunice Lin (my prayer buddy!) & Rach..

NeNe. :) haha~ sorry! took it while u were eating.. hehe! Eunice so AntiSocial!!

Timothy Tam! haha~ :) Tim Tam (actually is Tan)

the other many people..

aww~

Crown Lager. wish it was a little more chilled. not very yum when it sort of warmed up.

Danana’s creation. out of the blue but lovely!!

NeNe, Eunice, Tim & Rach..

the guys! John, Danana, Tim & David (my cell leader)

Rach, Kim Oh and ME.

hehe.. the prayer buddies! :)

see that star there! reminds me of Gaga all of a sudden! teehee!

my dessert palate! :) Ate most of Danana’s rummed-up-cheese cake as well! YUM

Tim & his tea. why was I taking this actually? I forgot!! hmm~

:)

the 18s in DimSum (my cell)! hehe~ Action Jackson John? :D

David and Nene!!

hehe~

Tim & Rachel

ME & Tim.

woah~ 帅！

Banana & Danana! haha~ funny how we have almost similar nickies. @least I’m not alone!

all smiles.

Yeap. So that’s most of our pictures! :D

we’re all so smiley. (:

Anyway. After that Tim, Rach & I played pool and table tennis for a bit.. Though, table tennis isn’t really my thing since I’m a little tipsy and I had no glasses on! (so need to get contacts!)

pool was fun! though I was the first to lose! but it was fun! :D

we played till like 10.40pm and then head to the small hall for Liverpool vs Manu! It was nice. Haven’t watched soccer with a bunch of people in such a long time. :) miss those days!

1-1 was the score. Seriously don’t like drawn matches! so saddening! prefer one win one lose.. :/ oh wells!

Anyway. got a picture I downloaded from Facebook. its from Kim Oh’s cam. :)

Like this pic. Though my hand looks awkward. hehe~

That night was good. alls good!

Nothing much to add..

Love, Hannah

PS: Have you ever thought just.. maybe.. you belong with me? – Taylor Swift.