exams are over.. & then WHAT?!

RESULTS –> APPLY 4 UNI

well, that is the most basic information that I know of, but in the mean time..?

I tried applying for PT Jobs. but apparently I am UN-Hire-able(?)

So what have I been doing since my last paper? GUESS!

no not the brand, but well, I have been lazing my ass off at home, ‘growing mushrooms’ as the saying goes. my sleeping clock has been re-wired and it is NOT GOOD. sleeping at 4am and waking up at 2pm?! this is BAD!

look at me now!! I woke up at 1pm today! :( having my first ‘meal"’ at 2.20pm! which consists of 2 slices PANDAN cake & a blueberry muffin made by my dearest sister, of course accompanied by a mug of MILO.

well, I would have eaten more if I didn’t have a reunion later at 4pm! I guess that is when I will have my appropriate amount of food. haha!

apologies for the bad quality, I think my webcam needs to be woken up as well! :P

at least it is a sunny day out there, going out with a maxi tube dress (orangey red) and I will let down my hair.

a funny thing happened last night.
SINCE I have decided not to JUST grow mushrooms at home, I have decided to play around with Home remedies. I have tried onion juice masks for acne, grated cucumber+potato paste for dark circles AND egg+olive oil for my hair. Well, it was a mess! but I think if I keep trying, it might just get better. Even though I showered after the experiment, I can still smell onion on ME!!! ugh~ can’t seem to find the culprit! well, I will take a whiff on coffee beans later just to make sure it isn’t my nose. But so far, my skin is ok, acne isn’t as swollen as before. hair – well nothing changed there! and my eye bags seemed to just poofed up!! hmm~ I don’t know whether I should continue this journey but since I have nothing to do, what harm can it bring right?

mm~ side tracking : the pandan cake is AWESOME! reminds me of home.

anyway, other than toning my body and trying out remedies, I should better start on learning the art of makeup. :( I need help in this particular section! every time I try on eye shadow plus eye liner, I end up looking as if someone punched me on both of my eyes! I suck at this! *boohoo* the only thing I am good at is applying lipstick! *giggle*

Alright, that is just about it!

Be good to each other, people! :)

Love, Hannah

PS: I have applied for a permanent part time job! *finger crossed* I want it so bad!

Freedom

Real freedom is not doing what we most want to do. Real freedom is knowing which of the things we most want to do is siding with what we were designed for. Real freedom is finding the right restrictions. by Tim Keller

So true.

I love my parents so much. Giving me a freedom that not many can have. Such love, can never be repaid and replaced.

Had a very disturbing thought after reading the many comments and even the post itself here.

Speechless. Sometimes I do wonder.

I do feel uncomfortable attending a big church that can seem foreign. The worship is grander, the amount of people is greater and everything else just makes you seem smaller. Well, honestly it doesn’t really matter if everyone has the same goal which is to live a life that is pleasing to God.

That said, it is never easy and it will never be. It is possible but it may seem daunting at the very thought of it. This world is now shaped into a world that deceiving is acceptable, taking things that doesn’t belong to us is acceptable, cursing is acceptable and so much more. Surprisingly, we are all supposed to be born innocent and yet we sin at  the very first breath we take in.

Who doesn’t sin? I can assure you that even I sin, every single second of the day. Like now, I’m putting aside my work to type this out, I have not honored my parents by using this very second to study and do my best in what I’m called to do. I download music of the internet, games, and movies. That is stealing. And to think about it, I am depriving the artists, directors, and the productions the money they should get. Imagine if you were the artist/director/one of the production crew, you work day and night to get something good out into the world in order to get money to survive and do what you do best, maybe you have a family to support too, but everyone out there would not spend even $5 on what you’ve created, they’d rather download it off the internet. How would you feel?

I’m not saying this just because I haven’t done it, or I’m free from it. I am still sinning in this manner, but I’m trying.

One of the lessons I’ve learned is that: you’ll know when you are distant from God or your spiritual life is stagnant is when you’re not struggling. When you live everyday with struggles and challenges that convicts you of your actions then that’s when you are truly living a life that is worth living.

I love what Keller said here “real freedom is finding the right restrictions”. I’ll have to start with lying. It became a habit and that should not be an excuse. How hard is it to remember all the lies I’ve made, and often I have to cover a lie with another lie. I think one of the reasons why I lie is because of pride. If pride is my way of living a God-pleasing life, then pride is my idol. Why would I want to worship something that is nothing but thin air? See. Not easy.

I’ve had times that I break down, I’m tired. But Jesus said that in Isaiah 40:31:

but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Many a times, in order to fit in to this world or this society, lying or covering up is the way to go. But again, why please man when they aren’t the ones that gives life, gives hope and eternal happiness?

Another problem I have to address is that of judging. As a girl/woman/lady, it is easy to be envious and be judgmental. Just seeing people crossing the road creates this automatic response to judge the way they wear, the way they look. It is the norm that is created by man, and therefore I must stop myself. This will be one sin that I will struggle greatly.

Anyway, guess who is in the house? :) Edeline How!! Woohoo~

She came on Monday with her Sis, Amanda. Crashing at my place (hah! feel bad, messy place, messy schedule, not a very good host. :( )

 

But, at least she’s here! Wee~ hope she has a good time in Melbourne as it has so much to offer.

Gotta go~

PS: kinda addicted to SIMS 3 atm. addiction=idol. I’m doomed! & I’m also checking Diablo III out. doomed-er (not a word )

Love, Hannah

Hot & Cold

Dafuq. Hah! :) funny how I just realized the meaning of it. I thought it was a Malay man’s name or something.

Well, it’s holidays now. Just a little break. But this is really a test for me. A test to see if I’m disciplined enough to do what I need to do than what I want to do. Blah. Never easy.

But I’m starting to learn that there’s no point of a challenge or test if it is just easy. It takes everything away and tears away everything that seemed comfortable at first and make them such ugly things.

God now seem stagnant in my life. Something is wrong. He wants my attention and I will give Him all of my attention. But the devil is smart, he knows when I plan to stand firm on something GOOD, he makes me fall. And the fall can be such a blessing because that is when God’s love and grace appears. :)

Well, focus Hannah. It is never easy but try as He knows your heart. Again, forgiveness is instantaneous but guilt can drag us down (guilt is the doings of the devil). & forgiveness from God does not mean that the consequences that we need to face on this earth will evaporate miraculously. Once a mistake is made, one must be able to face the music after.

No, nothing horrible happened. Just something nice but too nice that it draws me away from the one that is who I need to look and strive for.

Jie and I realized that we needed to learn. Both in different ways yet similar in struggles. I thank God that at least we have one another to depend on for honesty. & I do hope that I can come clean in all my doings without being judged on but loved gracefully.

Jealousy is another I have to work on. It can start off with little tiny things like comparing the food that one has on the other table and whats infront of me. Harmless yet it builds and becomes a habit. Its also a natural thing for a woman to envy and be hurtful in thoughts. Repent.

Isaiah 41:10
'Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.'

This verse, such love and mercy. :) but I can’t and should not take Him for granted. As I know of the consequences, I’ll be facing grave responsibilities.

Love, Hannah

Have I lost my touch.

Dear God,

I am emotionally drained, physically losing my health and mentally dead.
I am pushing through many currents that are forcing me to stumble and I am relying on you Lord for strength.

I want to thank you God for your everlasting love for me and your provision. Without you, I wouldn’t have food and water to sustain me physically, love from my family and friends to sustain me emotionally and lastly knowledge to sustain me mentally.

I thank you God for blessing me with such warm hearted and loving parents that not only wants the best out of me but helps me along the way to achieve what I dream of achieving. I thank you God for my down to earth and loaded-with-daddy-jokes father. Not only has he shown his love for me by disciplining me and molding me with each mistakes I’ve made, he also makes the effort to make me laugh despite of the very different levels of humor the both of us have acquired. I thank you God also for my mother. The sufferings she had to go through by just bringing me into this world can be said to be emotionally, physically and mentally draining, and I thank you for granting her the endurance, Lord. I thank you God that she is loving, patient and kind. I thank you God for she not only guides me to a more wholesome future, she too humbly reminds me of what I was in the past.

All this I want to thank you God. I know no matter how tired I get, I have so many others to help me get along each day with a sigh of relief and a smile on my face before I end the night with a shut eye. Thank you God.

Amen.

---

The image above is a poem I’ve written to my mother on her birthday.

I can’t remember which year I’ve written it but I did write it as I recognize my handwriting. :)

I couldn’t even remember me writing such a poem until my mother sent it to me. I guess when I was younger, my creativity was sky high. But now I can’t even find the time to make a simple card. :( *sigh*

Well, I guess this is the stage where everyone will have to go through = growing up!

On Sunday, I was very blessed to witness such a beautiful miracle. Lala and Lele welcomed their daughter – Natalie into this world! And I get to see her after she was a few days old. I was so excited. And it’s such a pretty scene! :’)

This is Pastor Alan holding Natalie. :) so tiny!!

These are the polaroid films that are kept as a memory.

And this is US :) haha~ *happiness!!*

Well, to baby Natalie. I’ve been at your stage about 18 years and 8 months ago! and after this period of time, here I am! getting drained and stressed! But life indeed is a beautiful gift from God. And you, meimei, are very blessed. :) Love, your 姐姐 Hannah.

Love, Hannah

Tears of happiness

I am SO SORRY lovelies for being super laggy! Have been pretty tied up lately with school work, church and.. procrastinating in general. WOOPS!

Anyhow, I’m here again. Though I can’t guarantee that I’ll be consistent again.

So..

Have you ever wondered what tears of happiness are? Ever experienced it? Well to be honest I haven’t really experienced it myself. I’m pretty sure I have but I’ll let you decide it for me.

Last Friday (04052012), I was stirred by the Holy Spirit to take a step up and serve Him with all my heart. I know it will take all of me to do so and I kept holding back. Even when the speaker was still speaking his message, my tummy was filled with butterflies. Perhaps eagles! It felt so uncomfortable like I’m nervous. I held onto my cross (necklace – mummy and daddy bought for me) and kept telling God that I wasn’t ready, hey! I’m not even sure if I’m ready now. The message that night was about God’s work. How He uses each of us with the talents He has gifted us to build Him a holy nation, to fulfill his Will and Purpose. I had the heart to do missions when I was still immature but knowing the deeper meaning now about evangelizing and reaching out, I just feel as though I’ll never make the team as I am too lame for it.

But as I constantly said no, the intensity in my tummy grew and my heart was racing as though I just finished a run. Tears started to swell in my eye sockets. I felt an overwhelming feeling with the few words that kept spinning in my head “Your Will be done.” But my mouth spoke differently..

As the speaker started to pray, the worship team (including me) went on stage to prepare ourselves. But before he ended, he asked if there was anyone that felt moved, or whether anyone’s heart is pumping super fast, that if there were people like that he invited them to the front and he would pray for them. I was already on stage!!!! I was thinking that if I go down I would miss worship and I kept giving the excuse that “ I am not ready Lord.” but as that excuse kept running out from my mouth, the words “Your will be done” kept pressing in my head and my heart. Tears were pouring down like a waterfall!! Then in my heart started singing the song that I would start after the prayer which is called ‘Living for Your glory"’.. The chorus sings “Take my life, let it be, everything, all of me.. Let my life honor you.. use me for your glory.. living for your glory..” It was like a push from the Spirit Himself. So I finally decided to go down the stage.. And as he (speaker) went around to pray for everyone, he touched each of our heads, and when his hand touched my head, I was filled with assurance and a sense of peace. Incredible! And yes, it was a weird feeling to look like a little girl with red eyes and soaked face to sing on stage but I didn’t care because the song was just brilliantly wonderful!

Just thought of sharing it.. I know that there are people out there that are afraid, I am too. but if you answer, you will not be alone. :)

I guess it is never an easy choice to make if we choose to not conform into what the world wants us to be. But God called us to be holy and the meaning is not just pure but it also means to be set apart! I learned today from the book of Exodus that God shows His love for us first and then only commands us to obey. If not He could have told the Israelites this :” if you obey then I’ll deliver you from slavery”. But no.. He brought them out of slavery, blessed them with food and water, victory over ‘war’ and then only gave out the commandments..!

I know in the past I have made mistakes that I am not proud of. It is hard to let them go and fully trust that Jesus has paid for my sins in the past and continue forward in pursuing Him. The hardest I find would be the taming of the tongue! It is something that I would have to set my heart to overcome. Love my enemies, and my neighbors too! Not being judgmental against others. So many others!! There is a lot to focus on, but I believe that if I take a step at a time with strength that is drawn from Him, I’ll be able to pull through.

If I can too, why can’t you?

Love, Hannah

What does your name mean?

After reading Genesis 27, I came across this question :

In Old Testament times, names like Isaac (‘laughter’) or Jacob (‘grasper’) carried a great significance. Do you know what your name means? Does the description fit you? If not, what kind of descriptive name would fit you better?

Well, my name is Hannah (quite obvious) & when I searched the internet for the meaning of my name, it mostly popped out to be the GRACE of God or favor. There’s no surprise there since Hannah (in 1 Samuel) did asked God for a son to bear. & she did bear a child – Samuel in the favor of God. & also, by God’s grace, she had the child. :)

To think of the meaning and see how it fits me as a person, I guess it does link. By God’s grace, I was born & also brought up in a healthy family. Blessed with many good memories, family members and friends. Food and clothes. All the necessities were blessed by Him and even additional ‘luxury’ here and there. By His grace and His favor, I did not let myself simply live my life without Him totally influencing me. He was always there even through my rebellion days, how? Well, quite obviously I’m still alive. I did had doubt of living but I pulled through, through His love for me.

I might be a disgrace to the name. But I really love my name and its meaning, and I thank Him each day that my parents gave me such a beautiful name. (even though Hannah Montana corrupted my name) I would not and could not ask for a better name to describe me as a child of God. <3

This image is pretty flattering.. haha! :) but it IS quite true. though I TOTALLY decline the fact that I’m born to shop. SO NOT TRUE! sorry for the POOR quality.. I’ll type down what it says here :

Hannah

Local Origin of Name : English
From the Hebrew name : Hannah

Meaning : ‘Channah’, Grace of God or Favor (1Same1:2)

Emotional Spectrum : Everyone loves to love Hannah [this is FUNNY!]
Personal Integrity : Hannah is the height of respectability [height yes, respectability..?]
Personality : She likes to relax and take life as it comes [Daddy & mummy will agree]
Relationships : If people were more like Hannah, friends would come easily [true! :P ]
Travel & Leisure : Born to shop! [honestly, no! SWIM, YES!]
Career & Money : Adept in financial matters [well, I am not disagreeing on that thought!]
Life’s opportunities : Helping others enriches her life. [quite true.]

Teehee! :P that is just plain flattery!

How about you? What does your name mean, and does it suit you as a person? (:

Love, Hannah

I’ve survived..

Holiday is here!! :) [2 weeks only & I’m rejoicing?]

I have to get myself organized during this SHORT period of time. Technically I only have less than a week to do my homework and stuff. Because I have Easter camp and Alpha camp! How exciting is that? Soon my blog will be filled with pictures, I hope.

Anyway, 1 school term has passed. & I survived [not with my head held up high but still, I survived]

I’m really worried about how I’ll go into my next term and the following terms after that! Then here comes the big exam. Though I usually don’t allow these sort of ‘exams’ to break me down, so why nervous now? Hmm.. Guess maybe I just want to make my parents proud. & by doing so, a much higher grade should be expected of me. I can do this, but I’m so not used to studying. Dislike it. Can’t wait to get out of studying zone. UGH!

Everything around me seems to be falling apart. I hope I can still hold on to those that is dear to me. But if I’m the only one holding on, soon, it’ll be impossible to NOT let go. It will soon wear me out & soon it’ll just rip me apart as well.

Had a bad dream last night. But I know it is merely a dream so it doesn’t really bother me, but to think that it might come true, I guess I just have to brace myself for it.

I practically woke up like this, felt like my whole body turned numb then jie woke up screaming too. Well, it was a bad dream night for the both of us. At least I didn’t wake up with tears in my eyes and soaked up my pillow. that would have been dreadful!

Sometimes when I get bad dreams such this, I’ll wonder why and what have I done the day before that might have made this happened. I think I got my answer. :/ oh well!

I can’t always pull the blanket up at night when I feel cold. It disturbs my sleep and it also makes a loud rumbling noise which disturb Jie too. I guess I just have to get used to the cold. It is only better that way.

Love, Hannah

Breastfeeding in public

I was just watching The Morning Show on 7 & there was a pretty interesting discussion.

This topic came up of course, it’d be weird if I suddenly thought about it.

So, there was guy who complained through the newspaper saying that he was in a café having tea, and then this woman came along, it was all fine until she started breastfeeding. he commented that it grossed him out and told her to be more sensible to go to a parents room to do it or just go somewhere else.

There goes the conflict.

The Morning Show invited this really pretty commentator to comment on that topic. She mentioned that HE should be sensible to move away if he wasn’t comfortable with it. Quoting that “you’ve seen more gigantic boobs on Bondi Beach topless and even more cleavages on Hollywood carpets. so what’s the difference seeing one that is natural?”

Well, I totally agree with her. Men these days don’t mind seeing breasts anywhere, even on sites. So why complain about one that is perfectly harmless? Its just breastfeeding to a child. I find it is just a natural process. And what if it really hurts and what if the baby needs it there and then? and what if she can’t move because her food is coming and she has other children to take care of? Inconsiderate much. “Move mate’, you should be the one moving, not her..”

But then there’s another part to the argument. A man commentator said that it is a natural thing for men to look at boobs and they want to look at them. Weird enough I agree  to that. Men are born that way unfortunately. But still, it doesn’t give them  the rights to complain about breastfeeding right?

Well, that man mentioned that it is just a sexual thing when encountered with breasts. And suddenly out pops the baby out of nowhere and it just ruins the whole sexual vibe or whatever. I’m not laughing, I find it rather interesting to see the different views.

I’m not sure who I agree with. But I’m pretty sure that it isn’t the woman’s fault for breastfeeding in public. So there you go. I agree both ways but I think its just sensible that if you don’t like the sight of it, move? or don’t look. Just the same when encountered with lovey dovey couples. All the PDA and stuff, I guess people can stare, or if you’re not comfortable with it, look away and move away. That’s all.

…

Then, there’s another issue that popped out. About sperm donation. There’s a ‘dad’ that wants to claim his son/daughter back. Apparently he donated his sperm to this woman and told her that he would want to see his child some time, and she allowed. but it continued for 3 years and he is often there, probably 3 days a week? and when she suddenly said no to child visiting, he wanted custody.

Its pure insanity. I think the whole part of sperm donation is that you donate anonymously. Right? I don’t particularly agree with sperm donating but even by saying so, its just not reasonable to suddenly pop out and say “hey, that’s my kid. I want him/her back.”.

…

The Morning Show can be a pretty interesting show to watch, especially with quite significant topics and discussion. What bores me is the promoting of products and advertisements. But for the discussions, it is not bad at all. :)

Love, Hannah

an instinct for survival.

… When chaos or conflict breaks through, people often doubt easily because it is a natural instinct for survival…

[Mistrust, misunderstandings..]

That’s part of my 3rd imperfect paragraph for my essay. Took me THIS long to figure that out huh? Even when I’m going through a similar situation as my essay continues on. Heck, I believe everyone is going through a slightly similar situation. It’s the way of life.

He throws me this obstacle, believing that I might in fact be able to go around it myself, and even if I can’t, He will still provide a way out.. it is believed to be that way.

& yet, half way through my essay, I found tears. It has been quite a long time since I had them. I wanted them to comfort me before, I needed them to comfort me and help me pull myself through, but they didn’t budge. & at the time when I’m least expecting them, they just burst through. great! my essay is a mess. my life is a mess. everything I touch will turn into a mess.

then the song goes:

I will trust in you

I will trust in you.. with all my heart

.. You are my hope, my everything..

seems easy to sing, seems easy to believe when I read it, but when tested, I fail.

停止，硬着心，往上看。

Love, Hannah

English essays due!

{Society is transformed by conflict}

The effects when encountered with conflict can be both beneficial and destructive all at one to individuals as well as a whole community. Depending on the reactions of the victims of conflict, conflict can be a catalyst which builds up a firm foundation amongst people in a society. More often, conflict has the ability to separate and divide people.Therefore, histories are made up with the many stories of those who have encountered conflict and which created an impact to the society.

As the old saying goes: ‘united we stand, divided we fall’, this brings a good and simple explanation or solution to conflicts. By allowing the nature of togetherness,it lifts a society to stand firm with one another and help each other up when anyone falls. During the previous wars, women and children gather together to support and comfort one another. This way, those who are weak as individuals can have the confidence to fight for what they believe is right when congregate as a group. In the film ‘Paradise Road’, Beresford focused on the many rows of wooden crosses while the orchestra sang, it portrays their unity even in times of mourning and pain. By doing this, the orchestra group kept people strong and help them to have the hope to hope. On March 12 1930, Ghandi led thousands of men and women on his infamous Salt March. They walked for 24 days, in total of 388 kilometers, it encouraged the society to come together to fight for what is rightfully theirs. Being in harmony with each and every individual is only what it takes to create and obdurate society.

& I’m stuck there! :(

Took me an hour to figure that 2 imperfect paragraphs up. Imagine what I would do during the exam. Oh bugger!

Not only do I have this prompt to write on, I still have 2 others! UGH!

{Encounters with conflict affect individuals, their families and society as a whole}

{The impact of conflict has never ending repercussions}

Tell me I’m not crazy, these are pretty hard cored essays!! It is only normal to NOT HAVE finished them. I’m going crazy indeed.

Lets look on the bright side, the bad sides can be dumped in the negative compartment and have them locked away for now. Oh! & I think I would throw the key of the lock of the negative compartment into the deep blue ocean. Then I would never have to EVER open them up again. How simple life can be if that comes true. I can only wish..

So, today was a beautiful Sunday. The service and worship in church was phenomenal! I loved every bit of it.

Helped out with the fund raising for Easter Camp, I do have some promoting skills. Hmm~ :)

When lunch came, I met up with my grandpa. Had noodles for lunch! It was HUGE!!! & spicy.. so I was not only filled with noodles and whatever was in that and some dumplings too, I was filled with WATER!! ugh..

Well, we had a great chat. Looking at cars pass by in front of the Melbourne Gaol (Jail) and talking about his life and adventures. :) Never seen that side of him before, it was spectacular. had to bite back some tears from falling, don’t want him to see me cry. It was a good day. Except for the tram!! No tram! and the tram replacement buses were late and full! so I decided to walk. Nice weather to walk anyway, might as well do it, plus I could lose some of the weight I had put on the pass 3 days.

Hmm~ so that’s about my day. Non-productive with work, but all in all, I give today a 6 out of 10!

Love, Hannah

Leap day! :)

it was supposed to be a happy and leap-y day but it turned out not as expected. not complaining. I had some ups today too!

Before I start, here is a myth or a so-called belief for this particular ‘special’ day:

Leap years confer upon women the "privilege" of proposing marriage to men instead of the other way around. The convention was (in literature, if not in reality) that any man who refused such a proposal owed his spurned suitor a silk gown and a kiss — provided she was wearing a red petticoat at the moment she popped the question.

I don’t get the last bit of owing his suitor and provided she was wearing a WHAT?! haha! if you’re in the blue too:

1) spurned suitor: the girl/lady he rejected.
- well, that is nice.. wouldn’t it be a good thing to get a silk gown and a kiss even if I got rejected? haha~ :)

2) A red petticoat:

hmm~ that’s one belief.

The origin of this romantic tradition is long forgotten and steeped in legend. One tidbit often repeated in 19th-century sources claimed it grew out of a statute passed by Scottish Parliament in 1288, of which one of the many quoted versions reads:

It is statut and ordainit that during the reine of hir maist blissit Magestie, ilk maiden ladye of baith highe and lowe estair shale hae libertie to bespeak ye man she likes; albiet, gif he refuses to tak her till be his wif, he sall be mulcit in ye sume of ane hundredth poundis or less, as is estait mai be, except and alwais gif he can mak it appear that he is betrothit to ane other woman, then he shall be free.

confusing?

Another tale :

..dates the origin of ladies' privilege to the 5th century, around the time St. Patrick supposedly drove the snakes out of Ireland (speaking of tall tales). As the story goes, St. Patrick was approached by St. Bridget, who had come to protest on behalf of all women the unfairness of always have to wait for men to propose marriage. After due consideration, St. Patrick offered St. Bridget and her gender the special privilege of being able to pop the question one year out of every seven. Some haggling ensued, and the frequency ultimately settled upon was one year out of four — leap years, specifically — an outcome which satisfied both parties. Then, unexpectedly, it being a leap year and St. Bridget being single, she got down on one knee and proposed to St. Patrick on the spot. He refused, of course, bestowing on her a kiss and a beautiful silk gown in consolation.

This sounds more like it.

Honestly, I doubt I would be the one going down on one knee. If you ask me, yes, I would prefer a one-knee proposal (but not FROM me, instead TO me). I’m still quite ‘traditional’, which adds a moral to my story: looks can be very deceiving!

So that’s leap year/leap day.

Nothing special would really happen on this day (for me at least), now and ever. Haha! I don’t think I’ll ever EVER do anything like THAT on THIS day. Teehee!

Though I think Red Petticoats can be really cute.. HMM!~

Love, Hannah

I promised me 2 years.

I just baked a chocolate sponge pudding. Yum? :) [the Picture is horrible, it shud look like this:..]

But I promised myself that I should take a break for at least 2 years to recover from all these ‘fats’.

Self-betrayal?

It took quite a lot of love out of me to start baking again.

This time it seems richer in chocolate. The previous one had chocolate in it but it was too diluted. Not that I don’t like diluted, I love it trust me, but a concentrated one seems much sweeter. & I love sweet things (not over the board sweet but yea..)

I baked it and its now sitting on the table. I wanted it but now I’m hesitating..

First I betrayed myself, and now do I really want to go down that road?

These fats are really impossible to remove, and when it does, it’ll take a longer time the next time around to cut them off.. Hmm..

Should I risk it?

I keep hearing, just a bite won’t harm.

But a bite will turn into a mouthful then a meal!

Hmm~ maybe I should let another one who would appreciate it for what it really is to have it.. I should really just let it go.. Many more to come in the future anyway. *fingers crossed*

Love, Hannah

 

a talk with the wise..

Well, she is WISE :) She is Maria.

we always have a problem on focusing on bible study. & we’d be talking about life’s problems. haha! it is not bad, in fact it usually links to what we’d study from the bible.

we had an interesting topic today. About whether mum’s should be stay home mummies or working mummies.. she said that we should not be working and neglecting our ‘responsibilities’ at home and leave them to other people’s care. It would affect their growth and mentality as a kid. Well, its true, no?

Another reason she pointed out was.. there are many people that can’t find work or jobs (men) because the positions are filled with women. Therefore poverty comes in the picture. a vast difference between the wealthy and the poor.

That is very true. SIGH! well, my mummy was a working mummy. But I think we grew up in a normal way? Not being side parked and not being overly cared in a way. I like how I grew up, though I do wish I had more of the attention. not that I didn’t have them, just maybe at times I really felt neglected. But no worries. I understand, now, that they worked because they had to provide for us. not only us. my grannies too.

I thank God that we are not the ‘now-a-days ordinary family’ that are lacking of love and joy. I am confident enough to say that I love my parents and my siblings. and I certainly know for sure that we all have mutual feelings to one another.

But I grew up nicely this way, and I grew up with the mentality of being a working mummy. Should I change my views now? I know I know. I’m still 10 years ahead of myself. SERIOUSLY?! 10 years? :(

I want my grannies to see their great grand kiddies! :) it’ll be so much fun!!

haha! I am seriously getting way ahead of myself!!

& &!! we talked about divorce. It is so common these days that people take it lightly which isn’t right! sigh... I don’t know whether it should be accepted or not in this world, but I am sure that God would not like the idea of it.

Maria told me that it is actually very simple. Respect your husband and love your wife. It sounds simple, but to perform it these days, it will be a struggle. Loving your husband is so easy, but respecting him is a whole different thing. Especially when both husband and wife are working and when the wife is able to provide for her kids herself, it is so easy for her to just call the marriage off.

I shall remember this and this only when I decide to ‘tie the knot’ : Respect him and be loved.

Love, Hannah

I miss you..

This was me when I was pretty naïve and innocent (:

this was what I meant by me always eating while taking pictures. :P look at the size of my legs! BooHoo!

I am my daddy’s girl, powdered face! haha~ :) Hilda looks like a clueless baby monkey! haha~ I like.. Ooo!! Jie & I were in our matching PJs.. teehee!

I LOVE this picture! :P hehe! wonder where my necklace went. Hmm~ Oh! I broke it.. eeks!

& lastly, see this:

Richie is sooo going to kill me! haha! (: Ben & Hilda looked so cute, Hilda especially with her huge eyes and GINORMOUS cheeks and what’s up with her hand? I think she saw food! haha~ (:

…

Yes Yes, I miss those days.

I think the heat has gotten into me. I am so procrastinating now. haha! Just looked at my pictures and decided to post them up. (:

Love, Hannah

世界上，幸好有你。

孤孤单单的 自己享受这个美好的生活。

没想到会碰到你。

当我伤心时，你就会在我身边，陪着我和安慰我。

当我傻傻的，你也会低着身份而跟我一样的玩满天空。

我生气的时候，你会一次又一次的慢慢说服我。

我肚子饿了，你会陪我吃到饱。

但是知道了我和你是没可能的，你还要试吗？

你这样是不对的。

是没用的。

我是不可能那么轻易地让你偷走我的心。

不只是偷走我的心那么简单，而是把我的全部交给你。

那是没可能的事情啊！

我和你只可以做朋友，两哥妹。这样罢了。没少的也不会多的。

你不觉得我们感情只能走得这么远吗？

如果我们这样的继续下去，我怕回头是不会那么容易呢。

放手吧。

不再看天上太阳透过云彩的光
不再找
约定了的天堂

不再叹你说过的人间世事无常

我怕如果我这样的一直下去。。

如果我再伤到心的话。。

我是不能也不会再爱的了。

我不敢。

我不要。

我不会。

Love, Hannah

the BIG 2.0 on the 20th of 02, 20(12)

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY 姐!

now, lets take a look on this 19 years of being together! :) haha~

Here we go:

Here we are with our first nice Chinese New Year picture together. (: 1994!!

I like Ben’s epic face! haha.. (: & Hilda still couldn’t balance then! Teehee! 2000?

U were trying to choke me weren’t you? haha! & again, epic-ness boy!! :) 1999..

I like this pic. :) it made us look like we were UNITED. haha! but, looks can be SUPER deceiving. plus, I take of my hat off to mummy or daddy or whoever who took this pic, managed to get us to ‘pose’ n ‘act’. haha! (: Awesome-ness!

16 & 17? or 15 and 16? (: 2008 or 2009?

When I got back from India! wee.. (: miss miss.. 2009

Thanks to Jason Widjaja for the awesome picture! this was 2011!

Sushi day, 2011!

Well, I’m sure in between there were many fights, arguments, bruises, heart aches, headaches, tears etc. But by saying that, in the package, it is included with much love, happiness, and laughters too :)

Though we can be so different in so many uncountable ways, we still managed to be close. If I could take back anything I’ve done or said to you, I would say none, cuz it has brought us to where we are today. :)

Even when we don’t look alike, I’m sure our hearts link in a way that science can never explain. (:

My flaw is your advantage and vice versa. How can I ever ask for a better elder sister other than you. Though we went through many downs, it has reflected into many ups as well!

Oh well, I just pray that you will have a great year ahead. It could possibly be a great year, and it could be a bad one. Either one, I’ll still be here for you, as always.

This is another level that you will go through earlier than me. I wish you all the best in entering this new phase of life! v2.0!! hehe..

Love you 姐！

Love, Hannah

Love me not.

I seriously don’t know what I’m feeling at the moment.

Numb probably?

I doubt that there was any meaning to it. The color and the amount? If deep thoughts were placed into just this ‘item’ then I don’t know what to say.

I like it, & at the same time, I like it not.

*sigh*

What am I doing? What should I do? How and why?

I wish I had the answers.

你的关怀真让我感到心动

慢慢流下了眼泪

Love, Hannah

So I’ve fixed it :)

It does look OKAY here, but trust me, it isn’t as good as it seems. Though they taste pretty good. BUT STILL, I know what happened to the cake. Ugh.

I was trying to hide the cake while she fascinated my Aunt with her piano skills.

TADA, the cake with sparkles!

Jie with my PREGGY AUNT!!

YESYES, I’m going to have a BABY – COUSIN (how I wish its mine but yea..) Oh my oh my! Great news indeed. God really SHOWED me that He does indeed work in MIRACULOUS ways. when we think that’s what He wants, He surprises us with a different story! *sighs* AWESOMENESS

Story was, my aunt was trying to get preggy but always didn’t happen. and the doctor told her that her chances of getting a baby was 100 : 1 which is pretty much impossible.

AND AGAIN. God has proven Science wrong. Sigh, the meaningless lives people cling onto these days must be pretty tiring.

we actually ate the some part of the cake already then Jie said she wanted to have her wish and to be able to blow a candle. Well, so we had to retake.. & here are the pictures. Above (right) as you can see is TAKE 1! (took by ME!)

this will of course be TAKE 2! (My aunt took this pic)

TAKE 3 (aunty took this pic)

TAKE 4 (aunty took this pic)

TAKE 5 (took by me)

today is an AMAZING SUNDAY indeed. The day didn’t start out very good. But eventually God showed me that there was more to life than being sad and depressed.

& now, jie has hit the big 20!! and of course, SAMUKUJIE IS PREGGGYYYYYY!!

I love my life indeed. He is indeed merciful and loving!!

All smiles.

Love, Hannah