Dafuq. Hah! :) funny how I just realized the meaning of it. I thought it was a Malay man’s name or something.
Well, it’s holidays now. Just a little break. But this is really a test for me. A test to see if I’m disciplined enough to do what I need to do than what I want to do. Blah. Never easy.
But I’m starting to learn that there’s no point of a challenge or test if it is just easy. It takes everything away and tears away everything that seemed comfortable at first and make them such ugly things.
God now seem stagnant in my life. Something is wrong. He wants my attention and I will give Him all of my attention. But the devil is smart, he knows when I plan to stand firm on something GOOD, he makes me fall. And the fall can be such a blessing because that is when God’s love and grace appears. :)
Well, focus Hannah. It is never easy but try as He knows your heart. Again, forgiveness is instantaneous but guilt can drag us down (guilt is the doings of the devil). & forgiveness from God does not mean that the consequences that we need to face on this earth will evaporate miraculously. Once a mistake is made, one must be able to face the music after.
No, nothing horrible happened. Just something nice but too nice that it draws me away from the one that is who I need to look and strive for.
Jie and I realized that we needed to learn. Both in different ways yet similar in struggles. I thank God that at least we have one another to depend on for honesty. & I do hope that I can come clean in all my doings without being judged on but loved gracefully.
Jealousy is another I have to work on. It can start off with little tiny things like comparing the food that one has on the other table and whats infront of me. Harmless yet it builds and becomes a habit. Its also a natural thing for a woman to envy and be hurtful in thoughts. Repent.
Isaiah 41:10
'Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.'
This verse, such love and mercy. :) but I can’t and should not take Him for granted. As I know of the consequences, I’ll be facing grave responsibilities.
Love, Hannah
