so here's my story...: Freedom

Real freedom is not doing what we most want to do. Real freedom is knowing which of the things we most want to do is siding with what we were designed for. Real freedom is finding the right restrictions. by Tim Keller

So true.

I love my parents so much. Giving me a freedom that not many can have. Such love, can never be repaid and replaced.

Had a very disturbing thought after reading the many comments and even the post itself here.

Speechless. Sometimes I do wonder.

I do feel uncomfortable attending a big church that can seem foreign. The worship is grander, the amount of people is greater and everything else just makes you seem smaller. Well, honestly it doesn’t really matter if everyone has the same goal which is to live a life that is pleasing to God.

That said, it is never easy and it will never be. It is possible but it may seem daunting at the very thought of it. This world is now shaped into a world that deceiving is acceptable, taking things that doesn’t belong to us is acceptable, cursing is acceptable and so much more. Surprisingly, we are all supposed to be born innocent and yet we sin at the very first breath we take in.

Who doesn’t sin? I can assure you that even I sin, every single second of the day. Like now, I’m putting aside my work to type this out, I have not honored my parents by using this very second to study and do my best in what I’m called to do. I download music of the internet, games, and movies. That is stealing. And to think about it, I am depriving the artists, directors, and the productions the money they should get. Imagine if you were the artist/director/one of the production crew, you work day and night to get something good out into the world in order to get money to survive and do what you do best, maybe you have a family to support too, but everyone out there would not spend even $5 on what you’ve created, they’d rather download it off the internet. How would you feel?

I’m not saying this just because I haven’t done it, or I’m free from it. I am still sinning in this manner, but I’m trying.

One of the lessons I’ve learned is that: you’ll know when you are distant from God or your spiritual life is stagnant is when you’re not struggling. When you live everyday with struggles and challenges that convicts you of your actions then that’s when you are truly living a life that is worth living.

I love what Keller said here “real freedom is finding the right restrictions”. I’ll have to start with lying. It became a habit and that should not be an excuse. How hard is it to remember all the lies I’ve made, and often I have to cover a lie with another lie. I think one of the reasons why I lie is because of pride. If pride is my way of living a God-pleasing life, then pride is my idol. Why would I want to worship something that is nothing but thin air? See. Not easy.

I’ve had times that I break down, I’m tired. But Jesus said that in Isaiah 40:31:

but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Many a times, in order to fit in to this world or this society, lying or covering up is the way to go. But again, why please man when they aren’t the ones that gives life, gives hope and eternal happiness?

Another problem I have to address is that of judging. As a girl/woman/lady, it is easy to be envious and be judgmental. Just seeing people crossing the road creates this automatic response to judge the way they wear, the way they look. It is the norm that is created by man, and therefore I must stop myself. This will be one sin that I will struggle greatly.

Anyway, guess who is in the house? :) Edeline How!! Woohoo~

She came on Monday with her Sis, Amanda. Crashing at my place (hah! feel bad, messy place, messy schedule, not a very good host. :( )