hate him hate her! love me and love us!

I cant believe Richie is helping him.. my all time favorite cousin is helping him! ISH!

who helps the devil when its obvious? I don't get it!

I have a hunch that that bitch cast a spell on my grand dad and my cousin!

what the hell?!?!

*sigh* never mind!

dun wana give a damn!

anyways.. I feel much lighter now if I look at the bright side!

I have a family (sort of), friends to support me, money to satisfy my life.. and ya! great.. that's all I need!

I found my old pictures.. so cute!

I have big eyes, puffy cheeks, black hair.. OmG! I looked so cute!

I wanted to pinch myself..

I was so photogenic then.. hehehe~

anyways.. life can be so interesting if you see it from a different angle..

enjoy life because life is short..

and when its over at least you will be satisfied!

=D don't give a damn bout small matters.. it only whitens your hair!

hahaha!

ciao~

hannah

maybe it’s a dream.. it has to be..

woke up today with puffy eyes..

but I don't feel pain.. no one mentioned this yet.. so far so good..

I think I must be dreaming..

HE's not going to leave me.. like of course not! he loves me right?

but that doesn't explain why my eyes were puffy..

if puffy means I cried.. why did I cry if it's a dream?

OMG! it cant be real!

he loves me.. I know he does! he loves her too! pick a side!!! he has to pick me! I have been with him for more than 15 years and that bitch just came in to the picture! he must know she's there to grab his money! please wake up! she's a devil! she's up to no good! listen to me! hear me!

I'm the one, I mean WE are the one u SHOULD be going to! not her!

I cant breathe! I don't want to think about this! but it just keep bugging me! why me?!

if this is the punishment for the killing the mice I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! it was a Biology project! OH Lord, u should understand! don't punish me! I cant handle this! WE cant handle this! it was just 6 months ago my another grand father left.. I'm sad enough.. please don't this away from me as well!!

why?! why do you have to leave me! there must be a reason!

if your reason is LOVE I will kill u not only her! that is not love! that is pure blindness! she has horns! I can see that! why cant u?!

I feel tired! I feel the weight on my shoulders now..

I cant even sit upright! I want to cry my heart out! but where?? I cant let my younger siblings see! I want to yell and shout! but WHERE?!

I have never been this sad and upset and disappointed and annoyed and pissed off and clueless in my life!

maybe I shouldn't have dig this out from my mum.. maybe it was better if I didn't know this at all!

but it would be worst if I found out when something has happened?

*sigh* what should I do? HE's letting go the family stick! he doesn't want me anymore..

nobody wants me..

I feel so.. so disowned!

lifeless,

Hannah

Love is pure!

I know I'm young and all to know the FULL meaning of LOVE..

but I know.. with love, nothing else really matters..

not only that, love also means that you would sacrifice anything for the one you love..

time, money, blings, etc doesn't really have any rank close enough to be compared with love!

love is pure, love is gentle, love is everything that we don't own!

but love for me now, is cruel! it is evil.. it changes my life! it changes my thinking of a person!

HE is leaving me! I just got the news! HE is leaving us all! HE is leaving because of HER!

HE is thrice HER age and HE accepts that!? my heart is smashed..

I want to grab a knife and find HER to dissect her and chop of her heart and throw it into the sand and let it burn!!!

SHE stole HIM away from me.. how can SHE?! doesn't SHE have a clue that HE has a family already?!

a once happy family!!!! and now it is breaking apart because of HER! that idiot! that MOTHER FUCKING AND SUCKING ASS HOLE!

it is a SIN! its sinning! I'm 100% sure that all religion teaches that we shouldn't have any adultery! right??

this is breaking the law! the law of Christianity! and my family rules!

I just bitten my lip.. guess what? it doesn't hurt!! it doesn't hurt as much as my heart is right now! even if I slice my self into pieces I don't think I'd yell!

I want a hug from the OLD HIM that I've known since my first day old! I want to hear from HIM " happy april fools day!"

but it might take a thousand years' miracle to bring HIM to say that!

this incident happened last year already but I just found out today! everyone in Kuantan that knows HIM already known it but I don't!

and we call ourselves a FAMILY!??! how can this be?!

"no place to go, nobody's home.." this song is playing in my mind now.. "she's lost inside, lost inside.." Avril Lavigne's Nobody's home

I just saw him this afternoon! he looked the same! the same old him that I've known for 15 years! but its just an act! he has been acting that way since last year! I cant believe, I STILL cant believe this is happening!

out of all guilty humans out there, why me Oh Lord?! what did I do to deserve this???

I need a hug.. I need someone to help me run away from this situation right now!

where are you when I need you!? online now!!! I want to talk to you!!! where are you!??!?!

maybe Facebook is right! maybe I might die by committing suicide?

my eyes are empty.. no more tears can possibly come out from my eyes! its now puffy and I look ugly!

I pray with my whole heart now that a miracle would happen! maybe that bitch cast a spell on HIM.. please OH LORD let him come to senses!

hey you.. I love you for being there for me when I called.. you are the only soul that knows this from me.. the best of friends! I only wish that you would be here so that I could run to you and ask for a hug! I want to cry on your shoulder! but anyways.. thanks for the advice but I think studying would only make me more frustrated! once again, thanks and love ya!

PS: if anyone is kind enough.. do give me a hug? I seriously need one!

cried.. very emo now..

Hannah~

OMG.. so long havent update?

i seriously have to get a grip!
online almost everyday but yet havent touch my blog?
aiks.. my lil darling blog, i'm sorry..
'=P
this past few days i have been playing scrabble with Darsyanah and Alisson..
practising for the competition.. and i also have been reading the oxford dictionary for the SIR competition!
i have so much in mind now..
i'm joining the Nie Star magazine thing as well..
wow!
anyways who cares?
i am trying my very best to cope with school, studies and activities!
i'm gaining weight!
i'm losing hair????
watever!
the conclusion is.. I'M SERIOUSLY HAVING A HARD TIME!
i have to organize..'
i need an assistant!
any humans need money come find me!
i have TONNES of job for u to do! haha..
oh no!!
i'm starting guitar lessons next week!
can't wait.. wee hee..
PS: i cant believe Alisson remembers our tiny tots days! i'm SO going to find those pics!!!
love and apologised..
Hannah

Dev! the guy from Slumdog millionaire.. the 2 yrs older than me dude! LOL muah~

i'm seriously in love! look at OUR pic together!
so secocok! HaHa.. OMG.. he's gorgeous!
i wish that we will both meet under a blue moon and even for a word HI i think its enough! LOL!
read my lips: HE IS...
S-E-X-Y
G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S
woo la la~
i'm MELTING~
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
=="
PS: i love him.. i love him not? nah.. i LOVE HIM! LOL

love + hate = LOVE today!

actually I hated today a lot!

I think I'd fail my add math! even if I get 10% I'd be happy already?

geez.. that teacher just want to torture us!

anyways.. dun care..

my mood Is so UP now.. LoL

after school went to church for EASTER sketch practice..

sort of sleepy but got it through anyways.

Richie, Jerome and I were in it and Wei Han is the producer? LoL

after the practice Wei Han drove me home..

LOL! I distracted him a bit while he drove.. then when we almost hit a bump he shouted like a GIRL!

haha.. so funny! I kept laughing..

LOL!

ok.. after everything..

I watched SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE with Hazel and Tina..

OMG! I am in love..

haha.. that guy in it.. (Dev Patel aka Jamal in the movie) was HOT! I mean.. IS HOT!

I'm melting! seriously..

I cant take my eyes off him!

some one! I need CPR.. out of oxygen!

geez!

anyways..i want to fly to INDIA!

I'm FLYING to INDIA!

I'm going to FIND him! and kiss him (even if it loses my lips-virginity!) OMG! he maybe is mi Corazon!??!?

PS: I love him.. I love him.. I love him!!!!!! and I miss u! =(

LOVE and MISSED by

Hannah

I’m blogging in the morning! woosh~

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