/tɔːn/

Much has happened
That I don’t know where to begin;
However, give me the chance to
Explain myself.

I have fallen
Since then;
Thinking I was alright
Believing that life can still be normal.

I wasn’t, though
And I got caught up
Like in a black hole.

I drank
I slept
I changed.

But believe me when I tell you
Moving forward wasn’t easy;
We had to struggle together
Forgiving and repenting.

Trust wasn’t something
I could regain with a snap of a finger
But the love I received
Grew on me, stronger.

I regret
But then I don’t.
I am ashamed
And yet I am glad.

I was happy
And I am still happy;
What changed then?

Scars remain
Purity lost
Name shamed
I disappoint
Lessons learnt.

Lessons such that
Those I once cherished
I once desired
I once enjoyed the company
Now,
has vanished.

Does time heal?
Are you healed?

Does distance help in forgetting
the pain?

Have you released yourself of the pain?

Does disappearing allow space?

Are you free?

Time cannot be returned
I wish I can
Return it
For you, not for me.

I am happy now
Believe me.
And for you
I wish, the same.

Love,

Hannah L.