some life I’m in.

why do I say that? I don’t know. but all I know is that there are many kinds of people in this world living totally different lives than me.

I have a roof and a warm bed and food to look forward to. but all I do is complain. awesome? *sigh*

I just talked to a guy. Man his life seems really adventurous. but with no family love. I thought he was really happy and he had everything. He has so many cameras that I am dreaming of getting and he cooks beautifully. I thought he was just another great guy but when he talked to me a little bit more about him deep down under his skin, his background, I wouldn’t actually want to have that kind of life. I felt the pain.

His parents are divorced. that’s sad enough. I don’t know what to do if mine were to be separated or even when they fight I would actually just feel so sad. *sigh* parents love is really important for that security and that feeling of protection. like my spine, without it.. hmm~

not only that, his father kicked him out from home and he is forced to support himself. and that was like when he was only 14 or around that age. when he said that he had to live by himself when he was 14 I thought wow, freedom! but then again, no financial support at all. gosh. I feel like what kind of people would do that to your own kids? if I were to be him, I would just sleep on the streets and die of cold and hunger. but he stood up and found himself a place to live in and a job to earn his own money. all those experience and pain made him who he is now and truthfully speaking I do look up to him. such bravery and courage. he worked as a chef, photographer and wow.. I just can’t imagine the pain of doing it when you’re that young. when I was 14, I was naïve, I was really stupid and just really stubborn. can’t imagine my next step if I were to be in his position.

He told me that its not fun at all, of course, being free from his parents. he said that he looked up to many wrong people and di many wrong things because he has no good example to follow (you know usually you look at your parents as examples?) *sigh*

I just can’t imagine the pain and cluelessness he went through. I thought it would be fun living without your parents but then again when you’re not in that position you just don’t get it and will never ever will.

I thank God for what He gave me. And through my friend I can see that God has been really good to me. But again, why are there so many people out there suffering? I just feel so sad thinking about people being raped now or having lost a family member or a loved one. At this moment, this very moment someone is in pain, crying and thinking why has things happened the way it did in their lives. and I sit here in front of a laptop that I demanded from my parents and still complain about life.

now I just want to know how I can help those people that are in pain. how can I make them feel happy? why does things happen the way it does? *sigh* The answer can only be God. I figured that out yesterday, the answer to all questions would be and is God. and I thank Him and appreciate His grace and mercy not only towards me but to my loved ones as well.

From now on, I' have to reach out to anybody that I see with tears or that looks sad. and that I would stop complaining. Just remember when you complain, there are people out there that are in a more bitter position.

Love, Hannah