A mask. it comes in handy.
I don’t mean a mask to protect u from various diseases. I mean a mask to cover your face and hide yourself.
In times of loneliness and some alone time, it’s nice to think but I HATE it when I think about it when I’m in public. It’ll be so weird to see a girl LIKE ME cry out of no where. (laughs)
When I walked to school yesterday, it was very cooling and the wind was really strong. My hair was SURELY with no doubt in a hair-war. But the lovely part was that I had my earphones in my ears and listening to a song. This song faded into the BG and I just thought to myself silently in my heart when the leaves of the trees were flying swiftly in the air. I felt peaceful. So overwhelmed with this feeling I just smiled to myself.
I am comfortable with myself and I know myself well. I know that I’m not always me. I’m not always THE ME that I am. But when I’m alone, I feel like I’m me. I felt like I’m not alone actually and that feeling pleases me deeply.
He’s there, no matter what.
I’m currently listening to a song called – Mengejar Hadir-Mu by GMB. whenever I listen to this song I just feel this kind of feeling, HAHA.. Don’t ask me why, it just is special to me.
I’m currently reading a book that I borrowed from a friend (thanks Aaron) called Five People You Meet in Heaven. I cried at the tram stop while waiting for Hazel. LOL. it was the part he died, and his 5th birthday when his mum carried him and comforted him. My mum is not here, but when I read that part, I actually felt her touch. Maybe she wasn’t always there compared to a housewife (mum) but she was there. She was there when I started walking and when I started to paddle in the water. She was there when I cried and when I needed a mum’s love and to scold me when I made a mistake. Now she’s not here to see me do my work, not here to nag, not here to hug, not here to cook and no kisses. I miss her but I know I can do on my own. I’m strong and I will be stronger as long as I grow my faith to Him.
So yes. I am emotional even when I don’t seem that way. Mask.
I can be very playful and immature, but sincerely I know I can be serious when it is time of seriousness. Maybe because I’m a girl? Maybe I’m someone that is very common, maybe?
Sometimes I tend to forget that some people around me feels the same way I feel and so I made up this quote which says : I never seem to think people around me understand what I feel but actually (truthfully) I never take the initiative to look through their masks first and understand them. [Selfish me]
True as what Yan Wen told me, look to God and if your heart is pointing at the right direction, wrong/bad things will eventually disappear from your life.
Love, Hannah
PS: I really LOVE the way the leaves fall and floats in mid air. Its' as if the trees understands what I was feeling.
PPS: I’m sorry.
