so sorry I couldn't be online now days..
=P
every thing seem to move so fast I don't know where to start
=(
my blog is dying
my life is following my blog's fate too
=/
I guess.. its when u can feel that your time is near.. don't doubt that feeling
anyway..
last night I got scolded from my parents because of my sister..
I mean I was like a puppet and they were releasing their angers towards Hazel to me!
I mean I was a victim.. hopelessly crying in the car and they kept shooting at me..
=(
sigh..
I don't mind if they were just angry..
but sometimes words cant be taken back!
I wish they realized how mean they were to me..
=(
my dad..
when he gets mad.. all sorts of bad words will just fly out..
and I seriously cant take it..
I mean yes you are mad.. but as a parent u must control yourself first right?
he said words like bloody, idiot, cow, brainless, shit and many more..
it was so hard to accept him as a father back then in the car.. I wanted to just open the door of the car and fly out..
I don't care even if I die on the road..
I just didn't want to be in that situation..
but at least I didn't do such a thing because I have plenty more to finish up before I leave..
sigh.. leaving..
it can bring good news to certain people and bad news to certain people too..
bad news for examples to my close friends and family.. losing me.. maybe.. I don't know.. I don't think I am that important to anyone on earth.. LOL
good news.. to my siblings for example.. they can have peace.. and my parents will realize their mistake and wont hurt my siblings anymore.. =)
I don't mind being sacrificed to just help my siblings to get love from my parents..
I know Benjamin is their favorite but if I sacrifice and they know their loss.. maybe they will realize that they have to love them equally..
sigh..
I don't know..
leaving is the most heaviest decision ever!
it might seem like I'm running away from problems..
YES! I do admit I want to run away from certain problems..
but mainly is because leaving isn't my choice..
=/
I hope most of you know what I mean..
and anyway..
if I do leave..
I would be a guardian angel to all of you..
=)
don't worry..
Love, Hannah
PS: if I were the president of Malaysia.. LOL! I want to change the history text book into a bible! see how you guys deal with that! =P
