OK.. I went to church today..
haven't been a regular lately..
I'm sorry..
nice speech from Ps Aaron.. I LOVE UNCLE DAVID! he's cool!
my life is a mess..
the one to blame for the mess would be me..
I'm useless..
all I do is create chaos.. =/
never would I be in the right track..
and even if I do.. I would only be on the right track for a while..
then off track again..
=(
YES! this is one of the emo sort of post I'm typing out now..
in every way..every single thing I do..
I seem to think of the consequences now a days..
usually.. I would just go ahead and do it like a naïve young girl I have always been
maybe I am getting matured..
maybe.. or maybe I'm just changing OR my period is coming.. LOL!
I don't know..
everything seems so blur now..
I don't know what I want.. never did I ever knew..
when I was young.. I would have dreams that are way beyond my reach..
and now.. dreams to me.. its like they never exist..
=( maybe failure has gotten into me..
I begin to wonder what it is that I should be doing in life..
why did God bring me here..
everyone is brought here for a purpose..
maybe I'm just suppose to be the bad one that always make chaos for those good ones to fix.. and they be the hero?
you can never be a hero without the 'help' of the devil.. right?
great.. my sister just slapped me in the back and said I'm way too matured for a HANNAH
maybe the old HANNAH that loves to make up funny ghost stories.. and the one that always kid around is gone?
maybe she has grown up..
or maybe she's just lost in her own slow going world where everyone is fast moving?
=/
I wish.. maybe one day.. I would feel great about my life.. about my existence on earth..
NO NO! I'm not sad and angry of my life right now..
in fact its just fine the way it is..
but what is in me is the one that makes me go KOO KOO!
I don't know what I want!!!
options.. decisions are making me go crazy!
what should I do?
everyone around me are planning their future.. some neuro surgeon or something.. engineer? pharmacist.. dentist.. business..
and me? all I could ever tell them is.. I don't know (with a smile that always make people pity me)..
I'm lost.. I admit.. never would I find my way up to 'success'..
never will there be a success in my world.. =/
I'm fine the way I am..
but I want more.. I know I can achieve them.. but I cant find what is holding me back.. there is obstacles.. but I cant see them..
I cant seem to break through.. =/
YES! there is always a way.. but maybe the question is whether I'm willing to try?
another problem that is pulling my smile into tears would be friends..
I don't think friends would be the right word.. but I cant use the 'B' word.. it'll be too harsh since they know who I'm talking about..
you know.. when a friend comes up to you and tells you that another friend of yours cannot be trusted..? do you believe her when you actually trusted that friend a lot!
I didn't know how to react..
I knew this friend since I'm not sure when.. but we weren't that close either.. but I trusted her..
and I got to find out that she is just the normal day 'B'!
sigh..
life..
its always something u cant expect..
maybe I should just 'stoop'.. HAHAHA
=)
something made me a great mood too today..
I saw him! =D
it's a new him, my friend..
I'm not sure whether I like him or not..
but he makes me blush whenever I see him.. we talk like normal buddies..
but I got to know he likes me.. WEEE!
he's hot and all..
but he is just like a normal buddy..
=/
duno la.
=P
Love, Hannah
PS: go AGM!! =D
PPS: maybe I would be active in St.John next year..
PPPS: I don't want to have anything to do with interact! my mind would be just set after this year!
