Rachel Tan Shu Yi

YES! Finally 18? :)

Join the club woman~

Honestly, You are just an awesome housemate and such an awesome friend.

You can be super duper crazy but yet again, damn clever! :D

Nice having you around. Nice knowing you.

Just within this 8 months I’ve gathered:

• your crazy
• you are the 2nd version of Einstein!
• you should be in masterchef!
• you suck in directions!
• you fail in one thing- sumo diet!
• that you are damn stubborn
• loves orange
• hates pink
• loves running
• loves eating
• loves shopping
• loves Bevan

Well there’s so much I’ve gathered.. OOPPSS

forgot to add.. Gets high easily even without Alcohol! :P

I love you woman!

May you be the Light & Salt on other people’s lives like you have onto mine! :)

Love, Hannah

PS: lets be all LEGAL together!

Frenemy

I JUST read a blog.

Quotes :

You find out who your friends are, who your enemies are and who your frenemies are and the sooner the better.

Well, I agree! :) It is like it hurts to wake up in the middle of a nice dream and realize that its just a dream. There you go. Its similar.

To think you know one so well, to think that you can tell everything to that one person and to even entrust everything you have to that one person THEN the next second everything just tumbles back at you so hard you can’t even get back up. (well, you can. it just takes time)

Going through that is so BAD. I’m actually speechless at the moment. To think that you would even HAVE the thought of hurting your friends is just.. UNCOOL!

Friends are where you fall back to and they would catch you. Friends are those who makes you laugh and cry at all the wrong times and yet the happiness will always be there. Friends are those who tells you they love you just out of the blue and still it means something. Friends are just as important as having a meal. Just as important as having an umbrella in the middle of a rain. To think of not wanting those must be INSANE! To think of throwing friends away by bitchslapping them is just.. *speechless*

Not at the right time of typing this post. Because I am listening to really nice and touchy songs and also seeing my friends pictures appearing on my desktop wallpaper every now and then (its what I recently figured that I could actually make my desktop wallpaper change every minute now! WEE~)

Well, I  choose not to care about those ‘friends’ that would want me to be their' ‘enemy’. I have really awesome friends that can overcome you one little pest! You mean nothing to me. Nothing you do will ever mean anything to me now.

You can’t just whack me infront of everyone and then when I’m alone, tell me that you’re sorry. I used to think that works. Because I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. But now I see. I see that you are just using me. Just manipulating me. Just annoying the shit out of me that I’m already numb. So yes. you can go and stick a freaking pole in your hole which I’m pretty sure will shut the shit out of you. sorry for being harsh. But well, you made me bleed twice on the court and you continued playing. You continued scoring. You continued doing your thing. Continued wanting attention to you and praises to be on you. Well if that’s what you want. I’ll just assure you that I’m out of your way. I’m not fighting. I don’t want any attention if that just keeps making me sick and hurt. I don’t want you. in. my. life.

Love, Hannah

PS: I need Him, Family & Friends but Frenemies+enemies? No way.. I have more than enough dramas going on.

Donating–BLOOD

YES it hurt! But that’s not the whole story.

What happened on this day.. Which was supposedly to be on the 17th of  August! heee~

Went to school for awhile and did some work (damn productive!)

Then met up with Jufri to check some stuff out to buy for his EX-GF (weird huh?)

So we went all around Melbourne to compare prices and check out good stuff.. then came along 5pm for my appointment to donate blood. EEKS!

remembering the first time I donated blood it was NOT good because I did not even fill up half the bag and my whole arm went numb! not good! PAIN~ that will be the word to describe my last donation..

So Jufri accompanied me but he was no help at all.. HAHA ish~ anyway.. I was damn nervous la.. ARGH! sat down and that GIRL had to think she’s all that good.. I told her the last time I donated they couldn’t find my vein and she was like ‘oh its okay.. you should be alright and whatever..’ so I was like hmm okay then.. so she pierced that needle through my skin and nothing went through and she tries to pull it out and push it in and I was like.. YEAP that will definitely leave a scar (thought of it in my head obviously.. I was IN PAIN!)  then she left it there and called the BIG nurse then they pulled out the needle and told me my left arm is ‘no good’ like what the HECK?!

So they said they would like to try my right arm.. I gave it to them and it worked.. woohoo!! and not long after I filled up the bag!! HHEEEEHEEEE~ damn happy.. :D

I like donating blood now.. Cuz after donating I get to eat free food! I stole some cupcakes and went for dinner with Jufri. :) he is awesome!

Couldn’t really remember what happened after.. :) but nevermind..all’s well!

Love, Hannah

right ARM – the not retarded one!

& my left arm.. RETARD? so not! she is a retard! damn it..

PS: the BIG nurse told me that I have a funny vein.. tricks people! haha! (like me! :P )

Why am I afraid?

Today was a RAINY and COLD day. *bah*

slept till 10.30 in the morning. *not good*

did my PE work. Finally got stuff settled and sorted out.

Then I went to COBURG to the Fenix Fitness Centre to redeem 6 weeks pass from a voucher I bought. WOAH! can’t wait!

I set my goals already! Must be FITTER, TONER and Lighter (in weight) *laughs*

Anyway, I helped Rach to cook dinner. (first HOME cooked dinner after like forever!)

Went to church for dance practise! woah!! so TIRING!

The warm up itself wass.. *KABOOM* mind blowing and energy draining!

but I felt good. Like it was what I needed and wanted! Wanted to get back up on that scale and feel proud of myself.

We practiced our dance for VEGENITE. Had really hard moves!

Have to do the split and the bridge and the hand stand. I could do the bridge only! *SHUCKS*

To do the handstand. I must first master a simple cartwheel. and this is where my TITLE comes in.

Andreas (my friend that reminds me of my brother) kept encouraging me to just FLUNK my body and release it into the air! But I was afraid. I kept saying NO and NO. & then he asked me, ‘why can’t you do it? Just do it. What are you afraid of? Aren’t you a kid? C’mon, only adults worry about all this stuff.’ And it hit me, so hard, that I questioned myself. ‘Yea, what am I afraid of?’ *SHUCKS*

Used to be FEARLESS! but now apparently I am fearing EVERYTHING!

Fear the dark, fear being alone, fear of work, fear school, fear so so much!

Where have I gone to?

*SHUCKS*

I just hope that I could master this Cart wheel. It seems to me that it will help me to find myself back. *ICANDOIT!* but I can’t do it at home. No space. HAHA!

Love, Hannah

PS: be yourself and if you realized that you are not you anymore, find yourself again.

gullible.

‘Smell the cake! it smells awesome!’

‘No I don’t allow you to use my laptop/toilet/..’

‘My mum was admitted into the hospital..’

Yes, these are the things I believed when I’ve been told..

I need a friend.

A friend that would, for once, not lie for the sake of fun.

I’m not gullible. or at least wasn’t.

I comfort myself by saying I’m this way because people are not suppose to lie.

But well, I got a comment today by my school friend, Cissy saying that I’m SO or TOO gullible. & its not good. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m this way now.

Maybe because I’ve came to a new place without a ‘spine’ and therefore I would just fall on (depend on)  anything that has been thrown at me.

Like how a newborn wouldn’t be able to stand or hold itself still unless there’s support. Whatever support it could get, it relies on it. Well, I interpret myself as a newborn now since I’m new alone. I’m new to being independent. New to a world without my usual support. New to working and looking for work. New to balance WORK and school at the same time. New to having to swallow shit from those I don’t want to take shit from. New to many conflicts and frictions and so much crap that I just don’t want to look at them.

Gullible I am to this new world.

Sometimes I’m just tired you know?

Tired of taking YOUR SHIT and CLEANING your shit. Yes! I am talking to you. I’m tired. You think no one loves you, but in fact everyone does. But love yourself why don’t you? Why don’t you accept you for who you are and see the brighter side of things? It doesn’t take the world to move, it just takes you to move you. But you make it seem so difficult. Remember the sermon last night? Dr Jim talked about just trusting in the Lord and having both feet on the boat and SIT with your entire weight on the boat but you' are afraid. Or you seem afraid. Why? What is there to lose just to see the happy side of things? Aaron (LAU) told me/the cell that when you think of doing something, sometimes don’t think twice. Because when you do, you will think too much and therefore ending up not doing it. And that for once hit me. It hit me so bad. I used to think of doing so many things and will do it without thinking twice. & it was YOU who taught me to think twice. & I have changed. It did some justice to me thanks to you. But you should learn now to not think so much. You think TOO much. Not saying you shouldn’t think but not to the extend where you don’t even do things!

I am indeed tired. I have myself to worry but now I have to look after you too? I’ve got your back, yes. But I don’t want to carry you all the way to Heaven would I? Live your life because you only have one and only one you have. That’s as much of advice I could give.

I am thinking. Or well, I have been thinking. I might not want to study here in Melbourne. Might want to go far and venture for myself and study as well of course. I’m thinking of maybe Korea (yes, those dramas have gotten into me, but I think Korea wouldn’t be a bad choice because I am interested in their language and their culture) or Canada. I don’t know but yes I am quite certain I would want to venture out of my comfort zone. It’s a challenge I would want to undertake by myself.

That’s still quite far away but yes, I have been thinking.

Love, Hannah

PS: are you ready to trust in the Lord if He asks you to jump? I know I wouldn’t just jump. I would jump with the bomb style!

18 isn’t really a big number.

HALLO!

yes. I have just turned 18 a couple of days ago.

Isn’t really a big deal. But it is when it comes to getting into a club or drinking for that matter.

Since my birthday was on a Friday, I had a birthday WEEKEND!

so here is what happened.

FRIDAY : 29th of July, 2011

I went to school as usual. Had birthday wishes here and there. Then after school (10.20am – short day for me.) I met up with JY at Melbourne Uni after picking up my dry cleaning.

We went over to her place (walked) and had lunch together (Instant Laksa noodles) & hang around a little bit more longer. After that, we came back to my place. Grabbed some homework, my guitar and a picnic mat and headed for the park and just chilled under the nice warm sun. (but the wind was so strong that it didn’t really help.)

Spent the whole afternoon with JY. Was relaxing in a way.

When it got cooler we headed back home. I got ready for dinner. (Jie, SamKuJie & U.Dan)

This is Me and SamKuJie

We 3 gals went for pre-drinks first in a really fancy hotel! with one of the best views of Melbourne EVER! (I don’t mind sleeping in the toilet- view is awesome~)

I had to choose one the strongest cocktails – Heart of Stone! Damn!

Swapped with SamKuJie after a few sips. don’t want to get all tipsy in my already-hard-to-walk-in-heels.

Met up with U.Dan in some bar and got to meet some of his friends. (beer people)

After that we went to Docklands at have DINNER!

Didn’t plan where to have dinner because that STUPID restaurant don’t accept reservations (so annoying! & so rude some more!)

Anyhow, I chose this Greek restaurant called SAGANAKI (which I thought sounded like JAPANESE! but it is actually the name of a Greek Cheese!)

We had a really nice time together! like ADULTS now. Used to be 3 adults and a kid but now, 4 adults! AWESOME!

But then, my stomach just had to give problems. Had the worst gastric/cramp or whatever it was while having dinner! I only had it once before this. And it didn’t end well. Was so afraid I’d pass out in the restaurant. I head into the toilet and squat for at least 15 minutes until it was safe again. (So sorry for ruining such a beautiful time together!)

That is it that night. Had some muffins from SamKuJie and some presents! LOVE YOU!

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SATURDAY : 30th of July, 2011

Woke up really late! was suppose to meet up with Sheryl in Church to discuss MC stuff for ISM Welcome Night (2nd Sem) that night.

Caught the tram with Jie (not sure why she was pissed at me.)

Anyway, we had quite a productive day. LOVE Joelynn!

Spent a whole lot of time in Church that day! Went to see what is at Lord Mayor’s for a while, GOT SOME GOODIE BAGS!

everything got hectic when the time got closer to start the night. Quite a number of people attended. (*phew*)

Apparently both Sheryl and I did a good job. I had fun anyway so even if it suck-ed I don’t actually care. As long as it is for Him and that I did my best, that’s all it counts!

After everything ended and the crowd was all heading for dessert, I heard this Birthday song came from the AV and I was like ‘wow! whose birthday falls after mine?’ and suddenly I noticed everyone was singing to me! SHOCKING! *silly* Was so touched that I almost cried. *laughs*

After some banana cuppy cakes, Rach and JY wanted me to follow them (BLINDFOLDED!) so fine, I went along. DAMN SCARY! was BLINDFOLDED!!!

we paraded along Swanston Street and I’m pretty sure everyone was staring. There was incidents like, me almost tripping, me bending down like an idiot whenever JY says ‘slope!’, me bumping into a pole, me whacking some random stranger. *shames*

once we reached our ‘destination’, I knew we were at Bevan’s and I was made to drink VINEGAR! (thank God I didn’t) I was still blindfolded for quite a LONG time. And then I was asked to guess who was there.. I guess all 5 right except the last one. It was Chris!

they made Mojito which was supposedly ‘alcohol-free’ & I believed! We played some card game called Pyramid and I drank SOOOO much! argh~ Chris was really lovely to drink some for me. Then we played blow the cards which was really hard because it was either I kept talking and pointing that’s why I had to drink. (there was some rule that came with that game and Rach&I kept breaking them!)

Funny things happened! Apparently I was running all over the place and crying and laughing and falling and shouting. GOSH! we went to Jufri’s place to crash and in the morning it was only him & I because Bevan came over to bring her to his place before the sun came out.

-Pictures are all with Rachel I think or maybe there isn’t- SO SORRY!

SUNDAY, 31st of July, 2011

Woke up at Jufri’s place. Had breakfast with Rachel & Bevan & Jufri.

We had Subway which was near Douglas’s place but he isn’t here. Oh well.

I went to church alone because Rachel had to go to Uni to do some project with her friends.

After church I ate lunch with Sophie! @ GOGI

SO FILLING! *gosh*

anyway, after that (about 2pm) I called like the whole world just to meet up with someone but all of them were busy. (so sad) so I tagged with Jie and Jufri came alone. Went to his place for a bit then called Bevan telling him I’ll be at Jufri’s place waiting to go to basketball with him. (apparently I could have gone to Bevan’s place but he said he just woke up and that he had to buy some stuff that’s why I was with Jufri)

Anyway, about 3pm+ I went for Basketball with Bevan! SO AWESOME! though I got hit by the ball in the face TWICE! I am alright. There was this guy (forgot his name), he looked like my boyfriend but was really tall and he plays BASKETBALL so its so not him. Almost cried when I saw him and when he was really good to me. Miss you Kinny.

After Basketball I didn’t want to go to church for 6pm Service but since Zachary was walking to somewhere near church I decided oh well, just go then.

Church was really nice and suddenly I got a text from Rachel saying that she had dinner planned so just go home. That was what we (hazel and I ) did. Went home straight after 6pm service ended.

The whole house was dark when we reached and we Jie opened the door.. “SURPRISE!!” and many pop sounds were made! (all the confetti's were everywhere! thank GOD I wasn’t the one who opened the door)

They planned this the whole day. Cooking and preparing for me. No wonder JY & Rachel weren’t free for me the whole day. Then Bevan was ‘sleeping’ before basketball was because he was at my place the whole time! *they’re so sweet* (SOBS)

they made homely food such as Nasi LEMAK, Rendang, Asam Curry, and KUIH LAPIS! plus they had Syrup Bandung and teh tarik! they are awesome! OMG!

we had dinner and after dinner we played Taboo. (My unagi with Jie’s weren’t working!)

after the whole game suddenly they brought out a cake from no where!! then I had to blow the candles (made a really good wish).. then after having the cake they surprised me again! with a BICYCLE!! T.T

I don’t know what I did or have done to deserve such beautiful friends! and I have known ALL OF THEM for less than a year! *sigh* they are freaking awesome!

was really hard to ‘swallow’ all these surprises they had for me all at once. I admit, I am quite lucky to have them as my buddies! Thank God for them!

LOVE you guys OH SO MUCH! Rachel, Jing Ying, Bevan, Jufri, Jen & Chris!

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I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Rachel, JY, KIN, MND, BNHIL, JIE, JUFRI, JEN and so many more! (disappointments have all vanished thanks to you guys!)

Love, Hannah