HEY there my lovelies. Decided to give blogging back a chance. This was in my drafts for a long long time! so I’m back to complete and publish it. this was after my mum left, and when I felt really fragile. Sorry I did not complete it on time! *forgive me.*
She came and went just like that..
made all the difference possible
and now what’s left
is the empty house waiting for me
whenever I come back home
No one waiting for me with food
no one curious to know about what happened to me that day
no more yummy home cooked food
no more.. that little piece of Kuantan
no more that little piece of home
no more will last about 7 months.
how I wish 7 months would really fly
in a blink of an eye
because I am blinking so hard now
wishing that I’m in my own room
my purple colored room
with my maid yelling at my ear
my brother being a brat
my younger sister irritating me
family.. man I do miss a lot
blinking so hard that tears are rolling down my cheeks
*sigh*
missing how my dogs would bark
to welcome my parents back home after a long days of work
my heart would race
either with joy or sometimes with anxiety (usually because of my results)
would welcome them with my loud yell of MUMMY DADDY!
missing how sometimes when my dad walks in
and I don’t welcome him
he’d give his I-AM-THE-MAN voice to command me to welcome him home
now,
I’d stare at my flat’s front door
always ready to welcome that familiar face back home
but at the end of the time,
all hopes crushed
all familiarity disappearing
slowly just getting used to this, loneliness
‘its okay Hannah’ would be my only self-comfort I’d give to myself every now and then
‘it will be okay…’
Love, Hannah
PS: yes, this post is made out of many drops of tears!