a lesson to learn? u wish....................

hemmmmmmm
today is THE election day...
my sis n i was suppose to go to this place and help out...
den i went there n do things i didnt imagine i was gonna do..
i did useless stuffs which i didnt freakin like?!?!
why the heck in the first place i agreed to help out?!?!
wat the!!??

so i just went back home n do nothing!
den i tot of something
i pulled my bro n cousin to cycle with me..
i cycled kinda far from where my parents allows me to..
so i guess i was wrong by breakin rules huh?
but wat the?!?!?
its such a small town!
every friend of mine would usually cycle from one end of my town to the other...
and that is even further from i was..
ish..
their so strict!
i need my independence ASAP!!!!(if they wants me to live)
i wana be a free bird!
i free human!
n a free something!
i dont like the way the stops me from doin something i like!

so okay..
back to the story..
we cycled n cycled..
till i found out that my one of my BIKE's tires are punctured..
so i ask my cousin if there's any nearby patrol station
so he led me to one which is not that far but i guess its a bit far from my house...
(its not more than 3km okay?gosh!)
so we tried to pump it but my cousin assumed that my tire has a hole?!?!?!
but he said its no biggy so i wun make a big fuss out of it..
den we cycled till we changed our bikes??
i dunno why he took my bike?
n i used my bro's one which is damn short ,and come on i have long legs.. u cant expect much!
den my cousin just went off without waiting and i have to adjust myself towards the small bike.
and me n my bro was really pissed off dat my cousin was gone?!?!?!
so we waited n waited and finally decided to find him..
and for sure we cant..
there were roads n roads leading us to more ROADS!!
so we practically went cycling like mad fellows callin his name
so suddenly my phone rang n like DUH its from home!
and my youngest sis said that he was at my house already!
and he told my elder sis n my maid!
(those 2 really cant keep their mouth shut u know?!)
argh*****
i was so ~!@#$%^&*() pissed off..
and hurried home..
like the F1s on the road..
mad cyclers..
haha
when we reached i was so mad!
why did he spill it out?!?!?!
gosh*****
i'm so !@#$ed up!
aihs..
but wat to do..
it had already happened..
i cant wish for the time to turn back right?
(i actually did but wat the !@#$ it didnt work!???)
so i went in the house and guess wat?
THEY (my sis n maid) called my parents and told them eveything!
they spilled the BEANS!
how dumb are they!!!
they are practically useless!!!
argh!
i was so angry!
i was so annoyed!
i was so...
mixed with anger, sadness and most of all GUILT!
*sigh*

my heart was like sinkin in the deepest ocean with guilt!
i could feel so much of weight at my back!
and trust me..
that feeling wasnt a feeling that is to be enjoyed with...
i was so feel with guilt that i decided to go golf with my bro, and cousin n my younger sis..
i hit the balls so hard at the end..
it was like i was trying to hit the guilt as far as i could..
that feeling was so pain and hurting!
but a sigh of relief i smiled!
really..
after 2 hours of not only the feeling of guilt but also the feeling of being so useless cos everyone at the driving range is like hitting good shots but me?!??!!?
errrrrrrr........
LOL

so after golf i went home..
and my dad was asleep ( thank God i still have some time to be alive )
so i took a bath, a warm one..
shaking and shaking like a coward that is going to face trouble...
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
later when my dad is fully awake..
me n my bro walked in the room with a cane...
shaking and praying in heart..
my pulse rate was so high that i could feel my heart beating hard!!!
my father asked us to explain what happened and why did we do that..
we didnt answer the why but we did answer the wat...
my heart was screamin at me askin me to tell him that i want FREEDOM!!!
i wanted to really..
my voice is like coming out..
but my mouth was sealed.
it didnt dare to open cos i guess i was too afraid that he'll blame himself that he's a useless father.. i didnt want him to feel that way so i just shut up..
*sigh*
i got 2 canning's! *youch*
after the canning i felt something...
i feel so happy..
i felt so happy..
i dunno why..
i guess when i hugged him he said that he was worried if wat ever happens to us if we werent careful..
that was really touching..
i felt love..
i think..
but at least he was worried for me..
i didnt think i matter in his heart nor in anyone's heart...
i felt so happy to know that i was at least 1% in his heart...
it really was meaningful..
and it was worth it being canned just to hear those few words..

i guess this is a lesson to learn huh??
it sure is!!!
====================================================================
but except for the part that i'm being grounded..
haha^^
kk..
i gotta go..

urs truly,
-strawberry emo-