i'm sorry too! dun feel guilty no more...

hey~ i'm back again?? haha..
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hmmm~ i just read my sis's blog, hazel.. she said she feels guilty for what she has done to me..? aihs.. hey jie, if u're readin this dun be! probably as a sister i shouldn't be so annoying at times.. i know it slipped from your mouth cos i'm annoying huh? wat to do? this is me.. haha! i guess everyone does feel guilty.. i do too! i feel guilty in everything i do.. sometimes i feel guilty too for makin every1 disappointed in me... i know i'm always in trouble.. n makin dad n mum worried or angry.. i know i'm very notty! n always cant be a child like they want.. i also know that i'm not as clever as they want me 2... but i'm trying my BEST.. but i just cant help myself from closing my eyes once i opened the book! its so annoying opening a book full of words!!! i feel guilty at times that i'm born in this world too! i hope n wish that i could really survive my life till i'm ready to die.. i dun wana die committing suicide... i know its a big sin doing that... so i'm controlling.. who knows if one day a miracle come?? haha.. all i want in life is just happiness, love and care!!! i dun want money! i dun want fashion! i dun want everything else except happiness love and care!!! some times i dun feel that way... even if i'm around people but my heart feels like i'm sitting in the darkness waiting for someone to reach out to me!!!

but in life we cant expect too much.. it'll hurt us if we get disappointed at the end...

so we can only do our best in wat we do and strike! (strike for wat??) lolx... wateva la... strike for anythin oso can i guess.. haha lmao!

so i wish everyone
HAPPINESS LOVE n CARE!!!

PS: love one another to feel love... make someone happy to make urself happy... okay? hugz and kisses! love -lOvE straWbeRrIes..-

life shockin experience??? LOL

watsup?? (not ceiling.. its the beautiful sky!)

hmmmm~
life is really full of ups n DOWNS!!
i really just hope that every day of my life its always UPS not DOWNS!!
but sad that wouldn't happen huh??

hehe^^
today i had my st.john exam..
n really i was so freaked out when i had to perform CPR (cardio pulmonary resuscitation)...n chocking..
i was so panicked that i kept smiling away...
after doing those stuffs... DR.Hew (the coach) was pissed off with me n kept scolding me..
youch!!

later everything went smoothly (i guess??)
UNTIL!! when its time to go back!
i had no transport back...!
so i asked aunt Sally but she said she was not going back yet so i had to asked Mr.Chee
and he said ok so i was relieved..
n i really thought it was time to go back.. u should see how happy i was to go back to my darling darling bed to snore away to heaven u know???
but sadly we went for lunch with the leader's of st.john (i meant Dr.Hew, aunt Sally, n one more auntie)
i was the only small "kid" there...
how freaked out i was...
i was shaking like a trembling leaf..
life a dust in the wind...
*sigh*
they practically bullied me!!!
argh!
as for I'm a Chinese we had Chinese lunch..
n we always have to have either tea or soup..
so the elder picked tea so that's fine with me..
but for my short thinking.. they made me wash the chinese cups in hot water n *ouch it really hurt my poor lil fingers!! my tears was half way bursting out!!!
argh!!!!
n as if i'm a slave i have to pour the tea in their sups after they finish the tea in their cups!!!
I"M NOT A SLAVE N NEVER I WILL!!!
*argh!
i was in pain..

but what the heck, i'm in front of my parents's close friends!!!
i have to be strong...
so i sniffed away the tears n made my tough-looking-face!!!
so after LUNCH... torture arrives AGAIN!!
we went to the shop near by SECRET RECIPE n had break?!?!?!
(thank God i chose not to eat again if not i'll have lumps!!!)
so Dr.Hew took his bag in and took out the exam sheets!!!
n pulled mine out!!
gosh how embarrassing!!!
he then kept scolding me saying why this wrong and that wrong!!
i was so sad...
he made me do it again on a piece of paper!!
if details was not in his ways i got canings in public on my hand!!!
ouch!!!
then after everything...
i finally was let go!!
FINALLY!!
and again i thought i could go back already but sadly Dr.Hew made me go to his clinic and see a patient!!
a REAL one!!!!
he wants me to treat that patient too!!!!
aiks!!
i could feel me trembling again!!!
*sigh*

so i had to go...
and later we arrived at his clinic and his patient came along too!
that patient had a fractured ankle at his right leg..
Dr.Hew asked me to go in the room alone with the patient and see the difference between his right and left ankles!!
i panicked and went in..
i took down some useless details which didn't help much..
(how dumb of me)
but all i know is his right ankle was really bruised.. n he had an old wound too!
later i had to take down the patient's details like his name, age, and bla bla bla!!!
so useless!!!
its as if my ambition was a nurse or some sort!!
(hey, probably that will work?? since i had not come up with one, i could use this!)
but wat the shit!!
i wasn't ready to do that yet!
i had to take his pulse rate!
and fuyoh!
here's the good part!
i could hear his heart beat!!!
and plus i saw he has 6 full PACKS!!
the patient isn't that bad..
he's kinda hot!
haha...
after everything as in taking down some details n stuffs...
i was asked to stand by Dr.Hew and gave the patient his medicine and some advice on how to take care of his fracture!!!
fuyoh!
i liked it at the end of the day!
i went home jumping around knowing that i had a chance where some people can't!
i was so happy..
but yet i was really disgusted in seeing the patient's feet!
ewwww!
that was really disgusting!
haha..

okok..
i know this is kinda long..
so i'm gonna end it..
don't worry..

that's really all of today's story..
i'm really feeling kinda cooL!!
haha!

xoxo..
-LOVE strawberries babe-

wat waz i thinkin!!!

hihi!!
sorry i was really busy lately...
exam just started...
sports day comin up, have to catch up with my cheering!
schedule's are freakin packed up!
geeeesh...~

so continue with the title...
sounds like i was in trouble again huh?
ya i guess i did..
but sad i was the only one causin it...
gosh wat an idiot i was...
tell u wat, i thought i was a LESBIAN!!!
haha...
that's how silly i was...

story goes like this...
i made a friend bout 3 yrs ago...
we are now in the same school and in the same class too...
i'll put her name to S k?

S n i was really close when we first met each other...
we played like crazy mad fellows...
really we were really really happy then...
but slowly i kept gettin in trouble with her...
so we always fight n made up very very fast at times...
we got a bit closer and once or twice or more than that (haha) we really was FIGHTIN!!
i really mean it..
we was really not tokin at all...
n our friendship went kinda far away...
probally we had misunderstandings... (or was it just me...????)
aiks...

so i guess when we made up this year...
we are as normal as the first day we met each other (or was i just feeling that way?)
i start to feel Jealous whenever she talks n laughs with her other friends...
n i would be really down when she comes n talk to me after being HAPPY with other peeps..
so i started thinking whether i was NUTS!!
n i kept worryin bout this...
so i decided to tell her what i felt...
n i could feel that our friendship went far a bit after that..
i could sense that she doesn't liked it ( like duhhh who would???)
so probably she try avoidin a bit even if we were sms-in i still could feel it...

i was really upset n regrettin that i told her...
so i called up my best friend SERENE n told her...
thank GOD she was there for me..
she told me that i m not a lesbian.. n starts explaining saying that every close fren wud feel that way if one of the close fren bein really happy wit other peeps..
its nature..
haha^^
n probably i had my own probs n really needed some1 to be with me...
n i guess she's right!!
wow...

PS: Serene, i really am so freakin crazy happy that i have a CLOSE FRIEND LIKE YOU!!
n for S i really am sorry for makin you scared of me...aihs... i'm really sorry for causing much trouble..

and thanks for readin my blog!!
xoxo..
-LOVE strawberries babe-